Seeking for redemption
by Vampiczech
Summary: Lantar Sidonis tries to redeem himself from his sins he made in past. He does that for his own peace in mind and for Garrus Vakarian. Lantar is unhappily in love to Garrus because he knows Garrus isn't feeling the same way. His life is radically changing as he meets his turian colleague in C-Sec. Rated M for major sexual content.
1. Life of officer

_**This story has been inspired by "Love is a Wicked Creature" written by Velasa. Please excuse any grammar mistakes from my side.**_

PROLOGUE

The Citadel, 2186: Zakera ward

Commander Jane Shepard and her turian friend Garrus Vakarian were sitting in a cab which took them into specific level of Zakera ward. Jane offered her help with Garrus' unfinished business from past on Omega station. Garrus Vakarian was known as Archangel – somebody who fought for weak and poor people bothered by mercenary gangs of Blue Suns, Blood Pack and Eclipse. Garrus worked in group of twelve people and one member of his group was named Lantar Sidonis. It was turian that Garrus found beaten up by mercenaries and after he saved him, Sidonis accepted him and they assembled people to work on purging the Omega.

One day, Sidonis was captured by Blue Suns and was coerced to lure Garrus in another district of Omega by giving him a false lead on Blood Pack. In the meantime, mercenaries assaulted hideout of Garrus' people and ten people got slaughtered. By the time this happened, Sidonis was already gone and once Garrus returned, he found ten of his people dead. Sidonis wasn't between the dead ones and Garrus assumed he was betrayed by him. His own man sold his friends and comrades out to the mercenaries and Garrus had to fight the gangs himself.

Running short on supplies, he was found and rescued by Jane Shepard who assisted Garrus and pushed the resistance back. The battle was won, but Garrus Vakarian was badly hurt from missile. Being treated on board of Normandy and joining Shepard on his another mission, Garrus held grudge against the turian who sold his friends out to save his own ass. He found the intel on Sidonis' location and asked Shepard for her help in taking revenge. However, Shepard saw the grudge changing her friend who was becoming violent.

Now, they were sitting there next to each other in the cab, Garrus was tense and Jane saw it, "Harkin is a bloody menace. We shouldn't have just let him go. He deserved to be punished!" Garrus remarked, staring out of the cab with fury in his eyes, "I'm getting a little worried about you, Garrus. You were pretty hard on Harkin." Jane answered calmly, "You don't think he deserved it?" Garrus glanced over at his commander, "It's just not like you." She said and Garrus looked out of the cab again, seemingly annoyed, "What do you want from me, Shepard? What would you do if someone betrayed you?" he asked, "I don't know, but I wouldn't let it change me." Jane said and Garrus immediately reacted, "I would have said the same thing before it happened to me!" and Jane put an effort into another speech "It's not late. You don't have to go through with this." but Garrus was already possessed with thought of revenge, "Who else is going to bring Sidonis to justice if I don't?" he said and looked out of the cab, "Nobody else knows what he's done. Nobody else cares. I don't see any other options." He shook his head at the last sentence, "Let me talk to him." Jane asked for it but Garrus just leaned back in seat, "Talk all you want but it won't change my mind. I don't care what his reasons were, he screwed us… he deserves to die." Garrus said, hatred building within his voice, "I understand what you're going through… but do you really want to kill him?" Jane asked, "I appreciate your concern, but I'm not you." Garrus snapped out, "This isn't you either." Jane pushed him to think but Garrus was already blinded with revenge, "Really? I've always hated injustice. The thought that Sidonis could get away with this… Why should he go on living while ten good men lie in unmarked graves? I'm sorry Shepard, words aren't going to solve this problem. I need to set up." Garrus ranted with legible anger. He observed the ward and looked for a good place, "I can get a clear shot from over there." Garrus said, pointing at the place. Shepard looked at the dark place behind cover and then looked at Garrus, "What do you need me to do?" she asked, "Keep him talking and don't get in my way. I'll let you know when he's in my sights." Jane nodded, "Give me a signal so I know you're ready, and I'll take the shot. You better go, he'll be here soon." Garrus finished, leaving the cab and closing it.

The cab flew off the bridge and Shepard could watch how Garrus pulled out his sniper rifle, getting ready at the location. Meanwhile Shepard escaped the cab and received transmission from Garrus, "Shepard? Can you hear me?" Garrus asked, "Loud and clear." Jane said and Garrus checked the ward around for Sidonis. He found him sitting on a bench in the back side of ward, "Alright. There he is… wave him over and keep him talking." He said and Jane did as he wished. Sidonis raised himself and walked over to Shepard as she gestured him, "Alright. Let's get this over with." Sidonis said and Garrus aimed for Sidonis head. Unfortunately, Jane was blocking the view, "You're in my shot. Move to the side." Garrus told her, but Shepard knew this was wrong. She wished to help Garrus, but not this way. Instead, she decided to warn him, "Listen, Sidonis. I'm here to help you." She said but once mentioning his name, Sidonis leaned forward to her, "Don't ever say that name aloud." He looked to the side as if he knew he was watched, "I'm a friend of Garrus'. He wants you dead, but I'm hoping that's not necessary." Jane explained and Sidonis was startled to hear that name, "Garrus? Is this some kind of joke?" he said obviously feeling endangered, "Damn it, Shepard. If he moves, I'm taking the shot!" Garrus exclaimed in Shepard's ear. Sidonis just shook his head, "You're not kidding, are you?" Sidonis asked, panicking, "Screw this. I'm not sticking around here to find out. Tell Garrus I had my own problems…" he turned around, about to walk away but Jane grabbed his arm, "Don't move." She said but her touch just alerted Sidonis that he flinched himself, "Get off me!" he shouted, "I'm the only thing standing between you and a hole in the head." Jane said calmly, Sidonis shook his head again, realizing the stalemate situation, "Fuck. Look… I didn't want to do it… I didn't have a choice." Sidonis defended himself, stress causing him to stutter, "Everyone has a choice." Garrus added to it, "They got to me. Said they'd kill me if I didn't help. What was I supposed to do?" he continued with explanation, "Let me take the shot, Shepard. He's a damn coward." Garrus told Shepard through transmission, but Shepard didn't move. Rather decided to continue with talking, "That's it? You were just trying to save yourself?" Jane asked, Sidonis calmed down, leaning against the handrail "I know what I did. I know they died because of me, and I have to live with that. I wake up every night… sick… sweating. Each of their faces staring at me, accusing me. I'm already a dead man. I don't sleep. Food has no taste. Some days I just want it to be over." Sidonis repented himself, "Just give me the chance." Garrus said, hoping he could kill the traitor, but Jane continued talking, "You've got to let it go, Garrus. He's already paying for his crime." Jane said, "He hasn't paid enough. He still has his life…" Garrus said in anger, Jane moved away a bit, "Look at him, Garrus. He's not alive… there's nothing left to kill." Jane said but Garrus still didn't let it go, "My men… they deserved better." He said but Sidonis wanted to leave him message before he would kill him, "Tell Garrus… I guess there's nothing I can say to make it right…" he shook his head, unable to find words. Sidonis already gave up, but it seemed something happened. Garrus sent Jane another transmission, "Just… go. Tell him to go…" Garrus said and Jane was happy inside to tell this to Sidonis, "He's giving you a second chance, Sidonis. Don't waste it." She advised and Sidonis proudly stood to Jane, "I'll try, Garrus. I'll make it up to you, somehow. Thank you, for talking to him." Sidonis said and they parted their ways.

SEEKING FOR REDEMPTION

The Citadel, 2188: C-Sec academy

Lantar Sidonis took the chance Garrus Vakarian gave him and he kept his promise. At least he tried his best and applied to the C-Sec. Even though that conditions for applications were difficult to accomplish, Sidonis managed to become officer with help of one sympathetic turian officer who spoke up for Sidonis and his application. Of course, captain Bailey had quite problem to trust newcomers and especially turians. He didn't have any other choice than accepting Sidonis in C-Sec simply because Sidonis told the admissions committee that he was under leadership of Garrus Vakarian back on Omega. The committee recognized name Garrus Vakarian for various reasons such as that he was member of C-Sec (one of the best) and also that name was linked to name of Jane Shepard.

Unfortunately, Jane Shepard wasn't alive anymore. In the great war against the Reapers, she decided to control them herself and due to that, she couldn't be mortal. At first, Sidonis was occupied with crappy position of helping other officers in the academy. You know, he did paperwork mostly, printing, taking care of calls and so on. His superiors didn't want to let him to handle real struggles in public. The reason was simple. They considered him to be weak from his appearance and everyone around him would say the same. When you remember Lantar as he met commander Shepard, he was 21 and he looked quite healthy and strong.

But as you know, Lantar was still followed by his conscience. Faces of his comrades were haunting him, reminding him how he sold them out to the mercs. When Garrus forgave him and gave him second chance, Lantar felt relief that eased this guilt. Even that his guilt was less, Sidonis was putting down weight in unhealthy way. The food didn't have taste, he slept minimally. His body lacked energy and income of nutriments important for him and lost 20 kilograms in few months. Say what you what about Lantar, he may have been coward, but not evil. Garrus Vakarian changed his decision for taking revenge because he could see Lantar was already dead inside. He was paying for the things he had done and that was enough for Garrus to know he was good man and let him go. When somebody lets ten of his friends die for own survival, you may consider him monster. However, monster is the one who runs away with no emotions or feelings of guilt. Lantar felt the guilt, thus he was no monster. He promised Garrus to redeem his sins and he wanted to keep it. He wanted to earn Garrus' forgiveness honestly with hard work on himself. Although Garrus may have hated Sidonis, Lantar didn't feel it the same way towards his former boss. Lantar didn't send Garrus somewhere else just because it was part of the agreement with Blue Suns, he did it because he considered Garrus as somebody he could trust. He wished Garrus to stay alive because it was the man who saved him at Afterlife on Omega from Blood Pack and also he still considered Garrus as his friend and memory on times back on Omega.

Lantar was now 23 and he managed to get promoted into status of C-Sec officer. It was strange how time was passing quickly for him. When he met Garrus on Omega, he was 19 and it was four years since that moment. Four years while he had to survive Cerberus' and Reapers' attack on the Citadel and he managed to get himself so far to this point. Lantar was one day on his regular patrol over wards. Honestly, there wasn't much crime on the Citadel but there were always opportunities for somebody to try assassination. While taking walk through the ward, he heard somebody swearing out of one of the markets. Lantar was the only one officer around. As he approached the market, he could see some angry krogan with shotgun grasped with both hands while a turian vendor just had his arms raised up.

"Yes, that's what I want to see! Now, transfer all the weapons from your store to my account and I promise that you and your market will stay untouched." The krogan said, leaving nasty laughter as the turian went to console and started typing command for transfer of his range of goods to the krogan account, "I was thinking krogan would have some pride and steal better weapons in Terminus. Obviously black market is too mainstream, isn't it?" Lantar said, charging his gun against the krogan's hump. The krogan holstered his weapon, looking at Lantar with one of his eyes, "Crap… C-Sec never lets me work." The krogan answered shortly, "Your job is to steal stuff? Somebody should have told you about C-Sec. Now be nice and go, you'll find nice place in our detention cell." Lantar said and krogan smiled, realizing there was no way of getting from this. He turned around with the shotgun at his side and hands ready for Lantar to put handcuffs on them. Lantar pulled out the handcuffs and tied one of them around krogan's one hand. Suddenly, the krogan grabbed Lantar's talon swiftly and threw him over the desk to the turian vendor. Lantar got hit against the wall and slid down to the ground. The krogan ran outside of the market, "He's running away!" the vendor notified and Lantar grabbed the first thing that came into his talon. It was some kind of orb made of metal. Sidonis got on his feet and threw the orb outside the market at the krogan who tried to escape. The krogan looked behind himself right when the orb hit him at face. Lantar didn't know it, but the orb was stunner. Once it hit the krogan, it activated strong electric discharge and zapped him the way he got immobilized and fell to the ground.

Lantar ran outside to turn the krogan on his back and this time he made sure he had handcuffs put on and his hands behind his back, "Alright. Nice try, krogan, but you have to explain something at the precinct." Lantar said while the krogan growled. Lantar also noticed the vendor coming out of the market, walking towards him, "Thank you for your help, officer. I was thinking this bastard will make my kids become orphans." The vendor said, "This bastard can hear you…" the angry krogan said as Lantar held him, "No problem, mister…" Lantar wanted to call him by name, but didn't know it, "Tiron. Etarn Tiron. I own Rodam Expeditions to feed my children. What is your name, officer?" Etarn asked, "Lantar Sidonis. So your kids don't have mother?" Sidonis asked, "No, they don't. She died a year ago while those Cerberus attacked the Citadel." Etarn said and the krogan growled, "Hey, I'm supposed to be in detention if I am correct. Why don't you cut it and move on?" the krogan muttered and Sidonis nodded, "Right. I'm sorry but have a krogan that needs to be put under lockdown. If your business was somehow compromised, feel free to contact C-Sec Post-Criminal service that provides credits for any repairs." Lantar said, pushing the krogan so they left to the C-Sec.

Once in the C-Sec the angry krogan was put in detention, Lantar went to his office so he could write the report and archive it. Work in C-Sec was filling him with satisfaction over making some good after fucking up so badly in his previous life on Omega, it really did but still, he was sentient organic being with basic four needs – Eating, drinking, sleeping and sex. Sex was something rare for turian such as Lantar. Lantar's main interest lied in turian males and seeing all his turian colleagues in C-Sec was turning him on so much that he was glad when he could sit behind his console and adjust position of his boner the way it wouldn't bother him during the work. It was unfortunate that the C-Sec regulations didn't allow having sex during the shift because Sidonis would definitely use one now. Lantar was desperate when he didn't receive good pounding for a long time. His desperation could go far the way that he asked a human to come over to his place and they would enjoy evening full of nice pounding. Sometimes he thought of his former boss and friend Garrus, but if he knew something, it was that Garrus wasn't into dudes so only that told Lantar to fuck off while thinking about hooking up with him.


	2. Relieving tension

Lantar Sidonis was still sitting in his office at C-Sec and tried to compile report about the violent krogan who attacked Rodam Expeditions shop on the Citadel. As much as he wished to concentrate on work, he was getting itch. The boner under his uniform was starting to be annoying because it has been over half an hour that he got it and he was getting the lust, an urge of busting his nut over his work table. There was one, two or three problems. One, a security camera was still watching the room. Second, anyone could come at him, catching him as he rides his cock with his talon. Third, taking uniform is quite problematic. You have to pull down the whole upper part. Shortly said, C-Sec was perfect at ruining your chances to have a moment for yourself. Shit, but Lantar needed it so badly. Only if… yes, Lantar was thinking if he could override camera the way he would temporarily shut it down, ten minutes would be enough, maybe even five when he considered how badly he needed it.

It was worth a try. Lantar carefully hacked into security mainframe and found ID of his office. Once he selected it, he searched for the camera that belonged to this ID. He was lucky, so far nobody noticed him within the security mainframe. You may ask yourselves, why didn't Lantar just go and use public toilet? Public toilets, really? If you want to spray cum, isn't it better when you feel comfortable in your own place? True, Sidonis' office wasn't his own, but it was his personal place in C-Sec and it was certainly way more comfortable than toilets where all the sounds he could make would echo. His colleagues would come at him there and it wouldn't be worth it. Security override was successful, nobody noticed anything. No alarm triggered, Lantar was all set. He was thinking about locking his door, but nobody seemed to be passing by his office. It was late afternoon and majority of C-Sec officers were leaving so Lantar could use this opportunity. Camera was inactive and so Lantar pulled down zipper of his uniform down to his crotch. His skin could feel the cold air flowing around as he had to spend all day in that uniform. Lantar leaned back in his chair and reached for his erected manhood that was peeking out from the uniform. The turian liked when he went home, undressed himself naked and enjoyed himself but now he found the uniform of his somehow arousing and it was giving him jolts of incredible pleasure. Grasping his cock with that glove, that soft C-Sec glove felt damn good. Sidonis left a long breath once he relaxed in the chair. He closed his eyes and moved his manhood within hand swiftly but gently so the pleasure could be more intensive. His mandibles tightened and opened at the same time. Lantar left his mouth open, exhaling and inhaling softly, "Oh fuck… yeah…" he moaned out. He was enjoying every moment of it.

Suddenly sound of door shifting open and human woman standing in them made him stop, "Lantar, I was informed that somebody deactivated-" she said but noticed how Lantar froze on place, half-naked, "Holy shit! Lantar! What the fuck?!" she was freaked out, Lantar quickly tried to zip up his uniform and hide his cock, trying to explain, "Wait! Alice I- Let me explain!" Lantar stood up but Alice ran away and the door closed behind her. Embarrassed turian sat back down to his chair, resting elbows on his knees and face in his palms, "Really, Sidonis? You had to fucking masturbate during your shift, right? Good job, Sidonis. Now you might be fired…" Lantar blamed himself. Meanwhile Alice was running through halls of the academy when one turian stopped her on the run, "Hey, hey, stop Alice. What's wrong? You run like Reaper was behind you!" the turian said and Alice tried to catch her breath, "Damn it, Dartus! It's Sidonis! I saw him while… oh my fucking god!" she said disgusted but Dartus couldn't understand, "What? What's going on?" He said and Alice took a deep breath, speaking silently towards him, "I saw Lantar as he masturbated in his office." Alice said and Dartus plates raised as if he didn't understand, but he did, "Yeah, it's true! He just had his cock in hand and… my god that was just so wrong!" Alice said, trying to rub her eyes, thinking it would help her forget. Dartus merely smiled, "So Sidonis wanted to bust a nut, huh? But why did you run like Reaper chased you?" he asked, "I need to tell Bailey. He should tell Sidonis that during his shift there is no time to… you know what." Alice explained in affect but Dartus just placed his talon over her shoulder and laughed, "Yeah, you're right, Alice but I think you don't need to alarm boss just because of this. You know what? I'll speak with him!" Dartus said with warm smile, "You will? Well… if you make sure it will not happen again, do it." Alice said and Dartus let her go, "Of course he won't do it again. You can go home. I'll take care of your reports so you don't need to worry." Dartus reassured her, "Thanks, Dartus. It's good to have turians like you here! See you tomorrow!" Alice said and left towards the exit of the academy, " _Don't worry… I will handle Lantar…_ " Dartus thought and smiled rather evilly.

Sidonis was walking in circles at his office, holding his head, thinking about the worst scenarios like being fired. He had no idea what else he should do if he got fired. This was the only job he could find and it was enough for him to keep him fed. The door shifted open and Sidonis launched with a jump as he got frightened by the fact that it could have been Bailey coming to deal with him, his heart was racing and started babbling "No, Bailey please! I didn't do-" he said and stopped once he noticed it was Dartus standing at the door, "Hey, kid. Did I interrupt you in something? You look like you-" Dartus said but Sidonis jumped to it, "What? Oh… no. No, you didn't… come in…" Lantar said, rubbing his head while Dartus entered Lantar's office and the door closed behind him, "Heard what you've done with that krogan down in the wards. Heh, thought you could tell me more." Dartus said and Lantar was still nervous, "I… I have much work to do, Dartus. Shitty reports won't compile themselves." Lantar said, having hands rested against his table. He was trying to speak calmly, but Dartus sensed the nervousness in his voice, "You seem pretty tense. Sure you don't wanna speak about it?" Dartus asked him but Lantar shook his head, "Nothing serious. It's just… I think I'm gonna get fired for one stupid thing…" Lantar said and Dartus calmly answered, "I know. Alice told me already." Dartus said and Lantar quickly turned to him, seeing him standing with his arms crossed, "You… you know?" Lantar said and Dartus nodded. Lantar facepalmed himself, "Heh… spirits, how many people did she tell already?! There's no way Bailey will turn a blind eye!" Lantar said but Dartus smiled in evil way, "Stay cool, Alice ain't telling no one. I can vouch for that." Dartus assured him with calm tone, "She won't?! You talked to her? Oh man… you saved my ass, thanks!" Lantar breathed long, "Alice won't speak, but I can." Dartus said calmly and snickered. Lantar was shocked for a moment, then he jumped at him and grabbed his uniform tightly, keeping himself within tight proximity, "You… you wouldn't…" Lantar stuttered but Dartus just smiled evilly at him, "Don't you believe me?" Dartus asked and Lantar rested his face against Dartus' chest, feeling desperate, "Dartus… please! Don't do it! I'll do anything! Anything you want but don't tell Bailey!" Lantar pleaded, desperation in his eyes and Dartus could notice that. He was still smiling thinking it was the right time to ask him for it, "Give me your ass." Dartus' mandibles opened, uncovering teeth, "What?" Lantar asked. Dartus as predator and older turian pushed Lantar to his table. Lantar's console almost fell off the table but Dartus leaned with his hands rested on the table, his face meeting Lantar's, "Your ass! That is what I want! Give me that or Bailey knows right away!" Dartus said and Lantar looked down at Dartus' groin, "I… I don't feel that we could…" Lantar said and Dartus buried his talon within Lantar's crotch finding his erection still strong. Dartus smirked, licking his own faceplates as a hungry predator "Come on, Lantar. You want it, and I want it too. We are hungry and we both can be fed if you let me!" Dartus said and Lantar was stopping to struggle, "But… the door…" Lantar said and Dartus went to lock the door behind him. He returned to Lantar and whispered in his ear, "Say it, Lantar. Show me how bad boy you are!" Dartus proceeded to licking Lantar's plates on neck and Lantar was getting chills as if death touched him. Those chills meant he was aroused and turned on by Dartus pushing him to submit, "Fuck me…" Lantar whispered, "What was that? I think I didn't hear clearly…" Dartus provoked him, "Fuck me!" Lantar said aloud and Dartus chuckled, "Still not enough for me. You obviously don't seem to be longing for hard pounding!" Dartus said, biting Lantar in his neck. Lantar got pissed off. He growled, "JUST FUCK ME ALREADY! FUCK ME, DARTUS! TAKE ME! TAKE MY ASS! I WANT IT!" Lantar shouted. Dartus grabbed him by his uniform and threw him on the floor.

Dartus leaned over Lantar with all his limbs and immediately grounded him with his body, meeting Lantar face to face, "Well, did it hurt that much to say it?" Dartus said, closing the distance between them with long kiss. Lantar liked how Dartus could convince him to do what he wanted. He loved the way how creepily he talked, with cold calm manner so it was hard to resist. Everything that Dartus wished to do, Lantar obeyed. As Dartus kissed Lantar, the other turian didn't hesitate to kiss him back. He held Dartus' head, showing him not to stop and Dartus started pulling down Lantar's zipper on uniform. Dartus could see the pale grey skin Lantar was hiding behind his uniform and Lantar pulled down Dartus' zipper as well. Both of them got off their upper parts of uniforms and Dartus helped Lantar to reveal his turian butt that was supposed to be pounded. Dartus pointed Lantar to turn around on his belly. Lantar obeyed, his belly lying on the floor. At first, Dartus was just watching the ass, observing his target. He got down with his face, leaving kiss on one half of Lantar's butt. When he spread it open, he noticed how it tightened and released. It was alternating, Dartus snickered, "Oh this butthole is so hungry!" he said, "Stop talking and fuck me, god damn it!" Lantar said, trying to push his ass up to Dartus' cock. Dartus pushed Lantar's body down with his talon and finally leaned over him, his cock burying inside slowly but with each moment deeper. Warm up was arousing enough for Lantar to start himself twitching, "Ah! Damn…!" Lantar said while the dick was pushing through his anus. Dartus rested his talons on Lantar's ribs, propping himself and started pounding. No slow start but right hard pounding. Lantar's ass wasn't ready for Dartus' so it meant to make effort while pushing inside, "Shit, you're tight!" Dartus said and pounded Lantar good. Their rough skins were bouncing, making awkward sounds. Lantar was breathing under each thrust and his moaning was provoking Dartus to rougher pounding. Lantar was now overwhelmed with pain. It was quite a while since he had some turian male to do this with. There was always bunch of work and now, when there was Dartus, Lantar wasn't used to pounding like this. Finally, Lantar's ass was stretched enough and Dartus could find humping him way easier. Lantar clenched his talons inside a carpet on the floor, closing his eyes as he tried to take in each thrust. Shit, Lantar missed this so long, good pounding. The way Dartus' fucked Lantar was intensifying with each minute. Lantar could feel himself being pushed on the floor, but Dartus tried to hold him at place. Breathing of each one of them was quickening, becoming louder and Dartus had to lie down on Lantar's back because he was getting weak in arms. He breathed in Lantar's ear. It was giving the bottom turian another wave of chills down his spine, but he loved it. He loved whatever Dartus did to him at the moment, "Lantar… you're such a nice piece of ass…!" Dartus said, catching breath in between rough humping, "Dartus… your cock… so long!" Lantar responded and Dartus put his face at Lantar's back. The two turians intertwined each other's hands together as they realized the climax was nearing. Dartus breathed against Lantar's skin on the back, Lantar breathed and moaned at once. Dartus was feeling he couldn't hold himself for long so he also started moaning. Finally, he thrusted himself deep inside Lantar, busting his nut deeply inside, filling him with his hot semen. Dartus tried so hard not to scream of pleasure, but he just grasped Lantar's hands tightly, "Ah!" Lantar felt the hot liquid inside him, he stopped holding himself as well and sprayed his nut all over the carpet under him, "Shit…!" Lantar said, realizing what he just did.

Dartus wished he could stay like this forever, but he and Lantar knew they both should leave the room before somebody uses the omni-tool and unlocks it while finding two turians as one sodomizes the other one. Dartus raised himself back on his knees, kneeling over the butt he pounded so well. Some of his fluid was dripping out, realizing he did a good job, "Heh…" he said, "That was even better than I expected!" Dartus said as Lantar tried to turn around to face the alpha male, "Man, Dartus, I thought you were going to push through my skull! You must have been long without this." Lantar said with smile and Dartus laughed. Dartus stood up and pulled up his uniform, "Listen, kid. I gotta go, but be sure to stop at my place sometimes. Fucking in C-Sec office is nice but… you can never replace good soft bed!" Dartus said and Lantar smiled at him, "Yeah… I'll have to get things in order and get rid of that cum on carpet." Lantar said, Dartus already standing at the door, "I guess you're safe with that affair. Nobody will know, kid!" Dartus winked at him and left Lantar's office.

Lantar sighed. He was tired, but at the same time felt how hormones of happiness and satisfaction filled his body with warmth. Maybe that Dartus wasn't Garrus, but sure he knew how to pound an ass. At first, Lantar had some difficulties with standing from the floor. His butt hurt him so much that he couldn't do a move such that it wouldn't hurt him. After few minutes, he managed to stand on his feet. He pulled up his uniform and even though he didn't want to, he had to clean the mess he made under himself. He grabbed a sponge and soaked it in water from wash-basin, then painfully kneeled to the ground again and brushed the cum-stained place so it wouldn't be obvious once it dried. Once he finished, he wiped sweat out of his forehead. The spot was damp, but it was clean and Sidonis was rested in peace that there would be no way how somebody could find out. Then he remembered… the camera! Was it turned back on once Dartus and him were… he hoped it wasn't. Lantar painfully raised himself and went to sit back to his console. He looked at the security hack, seeing he was connected, "Good… now the camera…" Lantar said and looked for the camera of his room, checking if it was online. Indeed, it was but now that Lantar was hacked, he could delete the footage and nobody would find out, "Great! Now if I delete the file, Bailey might not-" Lantar said but got interrupted, "Bailey might not what?" captain Bailey appeared at the door. Lantar froze on place but tried to act like nothing happened and stood up with pain, performing salutation, "Enough of it, Sidonis! I know what happened here! I was there in the security room and watched what was going on in here!" Bailey said in louder tone, "Captain Bailey believe me I didn't do it with pride! I just couldn't…" Lantar tried to defend himself, "Couldn't what? Hold yourself from seducing your colleagues?! I will not tolerate this, Sidonis! If you hacked inside the security, I don't know if Dartus was your first or your last! You lack discipline! You have problems with self-control and I am worried C-Sec is not place for you…" Bailey explained in firm way, "No! I will work on myself! Please! I need this job!" Lantar added, "It's not Lantar's fault, captain." Dartus appeared from around the corner behind Bailey, "What do you have to say to this, Dartus?" Bailey crossed his arms, "Lantar is not to be blamed. I… I kind of provoked him and he just submitted. I have to take the full responsibility." Dartus stood in attention, "Well, Dartus, you've been loyal for 20 years and your file is well reviewed. I will consider this being an error from your side… I am a good guy, boys but next time you want to make love, leave it to your homes. Now go away, your job is done here for today!" Bailey said and both of them saluted. Both turians left the C-Sec academy, "Thanks. You saved my ass twice now…" Lantar said, "You owe me another time, kid." Dartus said, winking at Lantar who chuckled.


	3. Personal history

Dartus Raidat and Lantar Sidonis left C-Sec academy once the problem with Lantar seducing his colleagues was solved in his office in presence of captain Bailey. Dartus and Lantar agreed on going to Dark Star to chat a little, now that they were closer to each other after hooking up during their shift. Dark Star was a sanctuary, better than Purgatory which was bigger and louder. In Dark Star, Lantar knew the bartender and usually most of his colleagues visited the bar because it was pretty close to C-Sec. Lantar and Dartus sat next to each other, getting to know each other better.

"I've seen you only few times in C-Sec, Dartus. I mean, I knew about your existence but didn't have much opportunities to talk to you." Lantar said, Dartus took sip out of his liquor, "Same here, kid." Dartus answered shortly, "What made you to come over and have fun with pervert like me?" Lantar asked, "I needed to blow off some steam, I didn't have many opportunities since I lost my wife back in the First contact war so it was good to relieve tension." Dartus explained and Lantar was surprised by his answer, "You had wife? From the way you pinned me it didn't look like you were straight." Lantar snickered, "Cuz I'm not. I'm oriented on both sexes," Dartus said, looking at Lantar, "Don't forget there aren't many turian women around so I'm hunting the best material I can get." He explained and Lantar smiled in naughty way, "Are you implying I'm the best material you got in C-Sec?" he asked, "Well, you're good, kid but you should be careful or you'll fall hard to the ground." Dartus warned him, his expression in the face showed clear sternness so Lantar had problem to find reaction to this sudden warning, "Why… why do you say that?" Lantar asked, looking away, "I was just like you, Lantar. Young, impatient, wanted to get everything in the easiest way. I found turian girl back on Palaven, we had two kids when I was 16." Dartus said and Lantar opened his mandibles wide in surprise, "Yeah, I know, way too soon for turian to be dad. I was already under training program of turian hierarchy and then three years later in 2157 those humans came through Relay 314 and attacked our fleet." Dartus said, some noticeable anger built inside his throat as he punched the table. Lantar gave him few seconds to breathe, "And you had to go in the First contact war, right?" Lantar asked and Dartus nodded, "I was 19. Me and my wife, we both had to fight in our fleet against humans. I survived, she didn't…" Dartus explained, taking another sip, "Man, that must have been shitty… what about your kids? How did they take her death?" Lantar asked, Dartus shook his head, "I didn't return to them. I didn't have the heart to go back and tell them their mother died as humans blew whole battle-dreadnaught apart. They were three years old and I let the authorities to put them into custody. They are both 34 now, hopefully they don't try to seek for their dad because I don't feel like facing them after so many years…" Dartus explained, "That's sad… you said you were 19 when the First contact war started. I suppose you're 50?" Lantar asked and Dartus nodded to it, "Don't give up, man. As humans say, there are plenty of fish in the pond so maybe you'll catch one sometimes." Lantar tried to comfort the older turian who chuckled, "It sounds to me like you are hitting on me, aren't you?" he asked and Lantar stuttered, "What? I didn't… I don't think I would deserve it…" Lantar said, drinking another glass, "Oh, come on! Young turian like you? What did you do that bad to think so?" Dartus asked and Lantar prepared himself to tell him.

"I let ten people die to save my ass…" Lantar said and Dartus expression was empty, "Alright, I didn't expect you to say that. What happened?" Dartus asked, "Do you know Garrus Vakarian?" Lantar asked him back, "Who doesn't? He's hero of the galaxy! He was by Shepard's side when shit was happening!" Dartus said and Lantar started explanation, "I was 19 when I came to Omega station in Terminus. I was hoping for better life so place like Omega seemed as a good starting point. I spent most of my time in bottom part of Afterlife club. If you ever heard something about Omega, you know it's place crawling with gangs like Blue Suns, Blood Pack and Eclipse. I was once beaten up by some krogans from Blood Pack and guess who saved me?" Lantar asked, "Garrus Vakarian saved you?" Dartus asked, impressed by his story, "Yeah. It was the first time I met Garrus. Didn't know much about him, but he offered me to help him with wiping injustice from Omega's districts. We assembled people with the same idea, humans, turians, asari, salarians, even batarian helped us. There were twelve of us, me, Garrus and ten other men. I didn't know how dangerous that work could be. Perhaps I just wanted to show up myself. Garrus was our boss, soon he was called Archangel by other people on Omega. We were successful in helping people but then… I fucked up." Lantar said, taking another sip of strong liquor, "What happened?" Dartus asked him, still interested, "I… I got captured by Blue Suns. They tortured me, maimed me, soon I succumbed to them and told them everything about us. I was thinking they would let me go after that but no, there was something else. They knew how dangerous Garrus was so they wanted me to give him false lead on Blood Pack and track him to some place while they would kill the whole group of us. I got spared, they let me go and with some credits I had, I took the first shuttle to take me off Omega. I never returned back and I did that for a reason. For what I've done… I didn't have the courage to come to Garrus and tell him it was my fault. I ran here, to the Citadel but I still had everything in my head. It was making me crazy and Garrus wished to kill me." Lantar narrated, shaking while only thinking about it, "Well, he didn't kill you. It must have been for a reason." Dartus said, "Yes. Jane Shepard was there and we both managed to change Garrus' mind. I promised him to make it up to him so I signed up for being C-Sec officer and I'm trying to help others." Lantar said and Dartus smiled, "From your story it sounds like Garrus Vakarian is somebody special. Isn't it?" Dartus said and Lantar looked around if nobody listened, then leaned forward to him, "I always had a soft spot for him but never had the courage to ask him for anything because I saw he had feelings for Jane so… he's not into dudes." Lantar said and Dartus poked him a little, "Hey, just remember what you told me about those fish in pond. You don't need Garrus." Dartus winked at Lantar who smiled at him.

Lantar and even Dartus felt as they had enough fun so they left Dark Star and parted their ways. Lantar was feeling that he could use warm shower in his apartment on the Citadel, then maybe watching some movies or funny clips on extranet to entertain himself. Sometimes he was wishing to travel on some planet to leave the Citadel. There were many things he hated about the Citadel. The artificial light shining non-stop wasn't good for sleeping, then the fact that it was closed space and more like political center than center of entertainment. Except for that, he missed weather. It was the same boring weather on the Citadel. No rain and constant temperature. He was outside normal planet for so long he forgot how it felt to stand in rain or in snow. Lantar was sparing some credits so he could get ship to some planet, he didn't care what planet. Actually, he wanted some planet that would provide everything he missed. Palaven, maybe? Home world of turians seemed to be nice option, but thought that after unifying of most of the races into the Council space, he wished to visit Earth. Some turians were travelling there as well so Earth would be nice to live. When Lantar entered his apartment, he immediately took off his uniform, feeling free. Undressing was still painful, sitting on the bed was even worse. Once in the shower, he made sure the water was hot so it could open pores everywhere. While showering, Lantar had to think back to Dark Star and when he talked about Garrus and how Dartus guessed that he had soft spot towards him. Lantar stopped the water, " _Garrus isn't gay but still… maybe it's worth trying to ask him? Jane is dead… Garrus must feel lonely._ " He thought and walked out of his shower, drying himself. He went into his room with towel around his belt, covering intimate parts. He sat down on the bed, still thinking whether he should write Garrus or not, " _I don't wanna open old wounds. Maybe he's already forgotten about it? Why don't I try to write him anyway? He can just block me in the worst case!_ " he thought and decided to write Garrus a message. The turian put on some underwear and slid under his blanket, taking laptop on his lap and switching it on. He opened his FTL message service (e-mail) and typed in Garrus virtual address, " _Hope it still works. Maybe he changed his address?_ " Lantar thought and started writing message:

 _Hey, Garrus,_

 _I don't think you would remember me after you've let me go and didn't shoot me, heh? Anyway, it's me, Lantar Sidonis. We fought together on Omega, remember? Those were good times and I hope you didn't forget about it, because I didn't._

 _I'm writing this to you because I want you to know that I've taken the chance you gave me, seriously. I work on myself and my redemption. If it makes you happy, I joined C-Sec and got promoted lately. It isn't the best job you can have (and you know it) but it makes you feel that you help the others. I feel and it helps me when I fucked up so much in the past._

 _Before you close this message, I need to ask you something. Maybe I shouldn't mention it, but I understood you were there when you found out that Jane was dead? Perhaps you feel bad you couldn't be there for her? I know what she meant to you. Actually, it was pretty easy to see it, though. What I want to say is that if you feel lonely, think of me. I understand if you don't want to talk to me, but if you feel like talking to somebody, I'm gonna be here._

 _Hope to read or hear from you.  
Your, hopefully, friend,  
Lantar Sidonis_

Lantar wrote and sent the message without hesitation. He eased his breathing once the message was sent but still it was within Garrus' mail and he was nervous about his reaction. In the meantime, he closed his windows and set them to darken so the artificial light wouldn't bother him. Lantar connected to some site with movies and browsed for some comedies. Because he was already fucked in the ass, he wasn't feeling like watching porn. He browsed for a while, still nothing interesting to watch. Then something happened. His message service received an incoming message and Sidonis froze. His heartbeat quickened, "Could that be… Garrus?" he asked himself and opened his message service while seeing the unread message exactly from Garrus. It was reply to his message and it came quite fast. Lantar was anticipating what Garrus could answer, his curiosity was big, but so was his concern. Lantar opened the message:

 _Mind your own damn business, Sidonis._

Was everything that was in the answer. No "Hi" or "So long". Just this short sentence. Lantar wished he could understand if Garrus read all the message, or just the part where Lantar asked him about Shepard. Maybe he read everything, but probably Sidonis wasn't careful enough and just brought him bad memories while mentioning Shepard. Perhaps Garrus had just a bad day, he was tired. Yeah, he wished to believe in that. Perhaps the topic was still too fresh for Garrus. Perhaps many things. However, he got so stressed because of the response the way that after reading his nerves relaxed and he was tired, " _I think I need to sleep._ " He thought and closed his laptop, resting it on the table next to his bed. He just covered himself with his blanket thoroughly so he looked like larva. He was feeling so cold suddenly, as if he arrived from blizzard, trying to warm himself up. Lantar wished to fall asleep. Ignoring Garrus' answer didn't help. Even though he already accepted Garrus' hatred towards him and he was fully aware of deserving it, he couldn't help it but felt hurt, like a spear slid through his heart. Lantar wished to be loved, wished Garrus was his friend. He kept feelings towards him and the fact Garrus was heterosexual didn't change anything. The hurt turian cried, his tears were pushing through his closed eyelids, running down his faceplates and creating spatter at one place that was growing larger with time as Sidonis continuously wept. He was lucky there was nobody who could have heard him or see him, yet he wished there was somebody who could run his hand down Sidonis' back, saying "I'm here for you. Everything's going to be fine." and exactly when he tried to imagine that, he saw Garrus there, lying behind him, whispering those words inside his ear with that sexy deep voice of his. At some point, Lantar was so tired of crying that he fell asleep with no obstacle. It was better when he could get rest.

Lantar woke up next morning and continued his stereotype life as it was. He took a shower, dressed himself in uniform and headed for C-Sec. Because of the lack of time he had some breakfast from the automats in C-Sec but didn't complain about the quality since he was glad to have at least something to eat. For few other days, Lantar didn't see Dartus. He wondered where he could be, but at the same time there was work to do so he concentrated on that. Even while visiting the Dark Star, he wasn't there. Lantar was getting desperate again and needed sex. Because no other turian offered to him, Lantar hoped for somebody at the bar and was lucky. Some human male sat next to him at Dark Star, starting conversation, "Hey, C-Sec! How's it going?" the human asked, "At the bar you can call me Lantar. What's your name?" he asked the human, "The name's Glenn. Hey, saw you few times here now and you don't look like happy guy." Glenn said and Lantar left sarcastic laughter, "You're bright! Didn't get laid for few days and I'm getting sick of it." Lantar said annoyed while the human thought of suggestion, "Need to get laid you say?" Glenn said, smiling at him shiftily, gesturing him to come closer. Glenn approached his ear and whispered, "Come at my place. I got some Hallex." He said and Lantar quickly gazed at him "Hallex? Isn't that dangerous?" he said surprised, "Trust me. After taking a pill, you won't feel anything but orgasm taking three hours…" Glenn explained with cold calm manner. Lantar was feeling attracted to this idea, trying Hallex and sex at once. Also, Glenn offered himself voluntarily and Lantar could use this to get some good sex. Orgasm taking three hours? Why not? "Alright…" Lantar confirmed hesitantly and Glenn stood up from the table, "I forwarded data about my location to your omni-tool. See you there." Glenn said, leaving. Lantar wasn't much in favor of humans, but this guy was bald, young apparently and seemed to have a good figure.

He arrived at Glenn's place. The human greeted him with some beer and other liquors he had in his fridge. Soon Lantar was offered Hallex pill. First he seemed to be skeptic, but seeing Glenn taking the pill himself and drinking it down with beer convinced him that it couldn't be that bad. He swallowed the pill, drinking it down with beer as well and soon the hallucinogenic effects started changing them both. Lantar felt urge and was forced to pull down clothes of this man. Glenn helped Sidonis with his uniform as well. It didn't take them long until they were completely naked. Glenn offered Lantar his lube and prepared himself to be pinned down by the turian who was now the top one. Both of them were controlled by their instincts, and both of them were aware this was going to be long night.


	4. Crime

Lantar Sidonis wakes up another day on the Citadel, in some bed and by the color of the sheets he realized it was not his own bed. Lantar looked at the table, walls, this definitely wasn't his apartment. Where was he? He propped himself on his elbows, "Where am I?" he asked himself. Then looked to his left side and spotted something morbid and disgusting, "Holy fucking shit!" he exclaimed and jumped off from the bed, almost fell down as his legs were still wrapped in the blanket. He pressed himself against the wall, his breathing was quick, Lantar held his heart. He observed the human, seeing he had numerous injuries all over his body. They were mostly traces of bites, very deep ones, " _What the hell happened?!_ " Lantar thought in horror, his heart beating so fast at sight on the devastated human. The turian held his head, trying to remember what happened while he was calming himself from the shock. He tasted a metallic flavor within his mouth and saw his claws and majority of body dyed with dark red, brownish color. He immediately ran naked to the bathroom to see himself in the mirror. He saw his mandibles and upper plates of his mouth colored with the red color and was starting to put all pieces together, "Alright… calm down, Sidonis. What do you know? You accepted to have sex with human… he offered you alcohol and… Hallex. Yeah, Hallex! You were stoned, couldn't control yourself! It was his fault! He should have known how this could end! What was his name? Philip? Josh? David? Fuck… I don't know but I don't care! I killed him! He bled out!" Sidonis grasped his head with both claws, "Can't leave like this! People will notice the blood and especially people from C-Sec…" Lantar said and entered the shower. He let hot water to wash him, yet he was so stressed and thought what he would do with the corpse in bed. Scratching off the dried blood was horror, especially when he knew this blood was innocent, no delinquent. Lantar finished washing himself, he dried himself and dressed up into his C-Sec uniform which he had on while coming here, "What if they find the body? What if C-Sec finds out? No… there's no way they could find out. Unless… my fingerprints are all over this place. Shit…" Lantar stopped and leaned against wall, thinking. Suddenly, he got brilliant idea, "Yes! If I report this and say that I run investigation I can get time to take care of this!" Lantar grinned, opening the door of the apartment and got out, " _Better lock this up…_ " he thought and turned the button on the door from green to red color, putting there a C-Sec lock to prevent it from bypassing.

Lantar went to the C-Sec to inform his superiors that he's started working on this case, but of course didn't mention that he was the killer. When Lantar took the Hallex drug, he didn't realize what he was doing and all bounds were released. A sex with turian means to expect violent biting. Sex between turians is fine since they all have hardened skin but when turian has sex with human who has soft, fragile skin, he needs to stay off his biting. Because Lantar was stoned, he ignored the fact and let his natural habits and instincts to take over him, thus he bit the human to death and let him bleed out. After reporting the crime that he made, Lantar went into his office and sat down to his console, ready for another paperwork. Sitting made him flinch a little, not because he got pounded, but because he could sense his reproduction system being overwhelmed with pain, " _Damn! He wasn't kidding when he said that orgasm would last for three hours!_ " Lantar thought, carefully sitting with his legs spread a little so the pain was lesser. The console was switched on and Lantar exhaled long breath before he started to process through bunch of dossiers. This wasn't his favorite part of job, but it paid him some credits too. However, he wanted to go out and hunt the thugs around Citadel, which seemed more important than verifying some stupid documentations.

He was already working for two hours, getting rid of each file when he was suddenly interrupted by somebody entering his office. It was Alice, "Yes? What do you- Alice?!" Lantar asked as he got surprised by her standing at the door. It was blonde human woman, a little bit smaller than Sidonis but had a nice figure, "How are you, Lantar?" she asked with smile and Sidonis started blushing, "I… quite good… you?" he said, feeling water within his skin getting to the boiling point, "Good. Heard what you've found in the residential area. I wonder what kind of dick could have done something that brutal!" she said, leaning against one table. Sidonis gulped, "Mhm… but that human guy had Hallex. Maybe he had sex with somebody so possibly that guy who killed him didn't do it on purpose." Lantar explained and Alice nodded, "We'll see soon. Bailey sent Dartus to investigate that place." Alice said and Lantar quickly stood up, frightened, "What?! I mean… that's amazing! If somebody will solve this, it's Dartus!" Lantar smiled while saying that, but truly he meant, " _Dartus will fuck me in two ways! Who else has got that?!_ " and sat down, "Well, anyway… about that incident few days back…" Alice started but Lantar raised his hand, "It's ok, Alice… Dartus spoke to me and I realized my mistake. It's just I didn't get laid long time but you can be sure it will never happen again. You have my promise." Lantar said and Alice blushed, visibly getting red in her face, " _Is she hitting on me?_ " Lantar thought when Alice approached him and sat right next to his console, "Actually, I was thinking once I left C-Sec that evening and I'd like to see what you're hiding under that uniform." Alice said and placed her hand on Lantar's shoulder, " _Yeah… she's definitely hitting on me…_ " he thought again, "Eh, Alice. I think that it would be better if we stayed friends only. Besides, we should be professional here!" Lantar answered but it didn't seem like it did anything to her. She moved her hand down Lantar's uniform, exploring his curves, "Who says anything about love? It's just sex." Alice said, " _Alright, she's starting to push…_ " Lantar thought, "But, you know… I'm not actually into humans…" he defended himself, "Oh, really… well, let's change that mind of yours." She put her hand around zipper on Lantar's uniform, pulling it down, " _Fuck… she's persistent! I don't want her! Damn, I have to say that…_ " Lantar thought, opening his mouth, "I'm a f… FUCKING GAY!" he shouted and Alice pulled back with her hand, for a while stunned by the answer, "Sorry… I didn't mean to scream…" Lantar apologized but Alice slowly withdrawn from Lantar's table and then disappeared in the door, " _Well, that went better than I thought… fuck, but I have to do something about Dartus or he's gonna blow it!_ " Lantar thought. He felt nervous and so his work was slowing down with his hands shaking. He was already considering critic plans just in case somebody would have found out. Running out again? Didn't seem like a good idea. C-Sec would have intel about him. Also, he had enough of running. Letting himself go to prison, maybe? The food in prison was good from what he heard. Bed for free and possibly even fuckbuddy. But what if there would be krogan? He was kinda scared of krogans and the way they fornicated. Was there any other option except for these two? He doubted that C-Sec would turn a blind eye over murder. Especially not from a C-Sec officer and definitely not from Sidonis. Say what you want, Lantar tried hard to be a good officer, but people still knew the rumors about him and Garrus and what happened so that didn't help his reputation. Yet, it was early to give up. Sidonis could do something to stop Dartus from revealing the truth.

Lantar finished his assignment at late afternoon and still thought of talking to Dartus. He left his office and headed to the elevator that would lead him to another floor where Dartus' office was located. The C-Sec academy was mostly empty again, perfect time to do something about his problem. It took him a while to find Dartus' office but as soon as he found it, he entered and saw Dartus wasn't there, " _Where is he? Don't tell me he solved it and now he's telling Bailey… shit!_ " Lantar thought but saw his console opened and decided to take a look what he had there, " _Crap! Those are my fingerprints he found in that place! He probably didn't send it to analysis yet. Maybe there's chance. I have to delete them before he comes back and-_ " Lantar thought, reaching for delete option in Dartus' console but quickly flinched himself and jumped back as he heard the door to the office opening. Dartus entered the office, astonished to see Lantar standing there behind his desk, suspiciously close to his console, "Lantar? Why are you here?" Dartus asked, going behind his desk and sitting down to his console, "I… I've heard you were sent to investigate the crime scene so I went to check what you've found." He made up quickly, "Also, I thought I'd talk to you since I haven't seen you for like three days or so." He added and Dartus left sound resembling snicker, "Well, because you're the one who should be investigating this, I think it's ok for you to see it. Whoever killed that guy, we'll know his identity once the lab boys compare fingerprints with database of people on the Citadel. That bastard won't be running away for long." Dartus chuckled at Lantar who forced himself to laugh back, "Y-Yeah… he won't!" Lantar stuttered, "Now when you're here, Lantar, you mentioned you wanted to talk which is good because I wanted that too and that's why I wasn't here. I was looking for you at down your office but you weren't there." Dartus said while standing up and facing Lantar, leaning with one arm against the window, "Y-You wanted to talk?" Lantar asked, "Yes. You told me about you and Garrus. You seemed quite upset while talking about it and it seems to bother you. Did you try to contact him?" Dartus asked and Lantar nodded, "He told me to mind my own business." Lantar said and Dartus frowned slightly, "That must have hurt. Well, then I can only say he's cocky dickhead." He snapped out, "D-Don't say that!" Lantar responded, defending Garrus, "Why? I mean, look at you. You do all the C-Sec stuff because you want to do some good, right?" Dartus asked and Lantar nodded, "Hey, did you mention you are with C-Sec by the way?" Dartus asked and Lantar nodded again, "Then logically it's his fault. If he can't stop dwelling on past and simply forgive you when you do everything to make things right, it's his problem, not yours." Dartus said, "Yeah but… I also asked him about Shepard, you know. I think that was something I shouldn't have done because it may have made him upset." Lantar said but Dartus rested talon on Lantar's shoulder, "Kid, listen to me. I was feeling quite bad once we parted that evening after having drinks. I was feeling bad that I just fucked you and you didn't have anything from it. You know that Garrus isn't there for you but if you feel like talking to someone, you know where I am." Dartus smiled at Lantar who nodded but didn't smile back, "Kid, you seem tense! Do you want to hang out in Dark Star? I'm almost done with this. I'll just send it down and we can go." Dartus said and sat down to his desk, sending out the fingerprints, "There, we should know the answer in few hours. So, care to join me?" Dartus offered and Lantar scratched back of his head, "Sounds good to me, Dartus. I just need to finish few things before we can go. Do you mind waiting for me in front of the academy?" Lantar asked, "No problem. I'll wait." Dartus said.

Lantar ran out of Dartus' office heading towards the elevator that would take him to floor where laboratory was located. When the door of elevator opened, Lantar spotted that everybody worked at their positions. Sidonis went directly at the identification section where officers should take care of things such as fingerprints or blood identification. Lantar stopped at the table with human officer sitting at console, processing through fingerprints. The human moved his eyes to the turian who stood in front of him, "Uh, yeah? Did Bailey send you to tell me that I'm fired?" the human officer asked, "Uh, no I… well, yeah. Said that you work too slow. Sorry." Lantar said and the human left sigh, "It's fine. I was expecting that sooner or later. I guess there's no point in staying here." The human stood up heavily from the table, packing his stuff and leaving, "Good luck in another job!" Lantar shouted. He looked around himself if nobody watched him and sat down to the console. He filtered incoming requests on identification of fingerprints and searched for Dartus' request. He found it and after checking the date, he removed it. Lantar sighed of relief, feeling big weight falling off his heart and left the identification post, getting in the elevator and leaving to the ground floor. Once he reached the ground floor and escaped the elevator, he heard shouting, "I didn't ever say anything like that!" captain Bailey shouted and Lantar quickly hid himself behind some door near to him, " _Fuck… is this ever gonna end?!_ " Lantar thought, "But that turian said that you thought I was slow!" the officer defended himself, "Oh, really? Let's talk to that turian then!" Bailey said and along with the human officer from identification post they went to the elevator, passing Lantar hiding behind a door. Lantar left his hide spot once he heard the elevator leaving the floor. He sighed long, " _Man… I need a drink…_ " he thought and walked out of the C-Sec academy. After he spotted Dartus standing there by a cab that was ready to take them right to Dark Star, they left.

Few minutes later, they both found themselves inside the bar, sitting at their usual places, next to each other. Lantar was starting to enjoy presence of Dartus next to him. There was a hell of difference of age between them, but they didn't have problem to find common topic to talk about. Lantar was still containing feelings towards Garrus, but listening to Dartus' deep voice was making him horny and the best thing about that was Dartus being bisexual so there was some possibility that Dartus was attracted to Lantar, maybe? Well, 31 years without wife and children definitely makes you feel desperate and lonely. Though, Dartus didn't want to push Lantar to anything. He knew that Lantar still loved Garrus and if he wanted Lantar to be with him, he must have let Lantar to come himself. It was strange how only one quickie in the office was enough for Dartus to start feeling something towards Lantar. There was one question that rushed in Lantar's head and kept him distracted from Dartus' talking: How will Dartus react once he finds out that it was Lantar who killed the human? Lantar didn't know. On one side, Dartus was faithful to the C-Sec for 20 years so he could be punctual about keeping justice. On the other side, he fought humans in the First contact war. He might have hated them so he could forgive Lantar for what he did. Maybe he could even help him to get from troubles with law. Then there was Garrus. If Garrus found out that Lantar killed another innocent, he would certainly kill him right away. Again, he couldn't stop thinking about what Garrus thought. Even he was light years away, his opinion was important to him even after being answered to mind his own business. It wasn't easy for Lantar to see who he liked more. Garrus or Dartus?

It was getting late and Lantar with Dartus agreed that it would be a good time to go and get some sleep before starting another day of work in C-Sec. While waving at each other and walking the direction opposite to the other one, Dartus stopped at the center of Zakera ward and watched how Lantar was distancing from him. His steps seemed light and Dartus wished he could ask Lantar for spending one night with him at his place. Dartus would make him dinner, let him have shower, use his extranet, all for one thing – just to have somebody there with him during the night so he wouldn't be alone. Just one night with somebody in his bed to cuddle with. He didn't need sex that much, he just wished to touch feel the heat of body of somebody else. Lantar took a cab to residential district and to his apartment. Surprisingly, even that Lantar didn't do many things today, he was exhausted. He wished to fall to his bed and sleep. Perhaps he was tired of all the stress he had to cope with today, from shouting at Alice, through hunting the fingerprints documentation to not letting himself get caught. He hated how he had to lie to Dartus, but he had to do it. Dartus was so far the only one that Lantar had option to hang out with. Maybe one day he will tell Dartus the truth about him and how he killed the human.


	5. Punishment

A young turian Lantar Sidonis was sleeping after stressful day of hiding evidences of his murder he caused accidently. At the end of that day he accepted invitation from his friend and colleague Dartus Raidat to the Dark Star bar on the Citadel so they could have drink and chat. Lantar liked Dartus because he was practically the only friend in C-Sec he had, but it seemed that Dartus was developing some feelings towards him. Lantar didn't know yet because he was still blinded with Garrus who wouldn't never accept him. Wrapped in his blanket, Lantar enjoyed last few hours before his alarm clock would wake him up to another duty.

Suddenly, the door of his apartment opened and C-Sec squad rushed in the apartment. Lantar was violently woken up by the sound of his colleagues running in and jerked himself around to see what was happening, "What? What's happening? Guys?!" He asked confused when one turian officer grabbed taser out of his belt and sent painful paralyzing electric discharge into Lantar's chest, making him scream. When the turian stunned him, other two ones grounded Lantar to the bed, taking his hands and tying them behind his back, "What?! I don't understand what's happening!" Lantar exclaimed, trying to struggle, "Enough! Lantar, you're gonna go with us and explain yourself to Bailey!" the turian officer said and Lantar widened his eyes, " _They know it? But… how did they find out?!_ " he thought when the two other officers made him to get on his knees and pushed him to get off his bed. Lantar had no other option than just cooperate. How did they know? He got rid of the evidences! Being only in his undies, Lantar was pushed out of his apartment, sitting in the cab with the three other officers who were watching him. In the cab, his handcuffs were released, but Lantar couldn't afford to play rebel because there was turian next to him who held charged gun against his head, "Dress up!" he ordered when Lantar obeyed and grabbed the clothing he was given and dressed up. It wasn't uniform but merely civilian clothing, "So what you want to say about that, Sidonis?" the human officer asked, "I didn't do it on purpose, ok?! I was stoned!" Lantar crossed his arms and defended himself being annoyed, "You'll be lucky if Bailey has mercy. He doesn't like you that much to let you just go." The other turian said and Lantar just muttered something, "And who would? None of you gave me chance and it looks like that I am just blight to everyone in his fucking life." Lantar said and his colleagues, now probably former colleagues didn't say anything. Nothing but sounds of cab engine sounded during their travel to C-Sec academy.

Once at the academy, Lantar was held by his arms and led inside the building. The officers made their way to the elevator and headed to the top floor where Bailey's office was located. Bailey was already sitting there with other two officers by his sides. He glared down at Lantar who sat at the desk for testimony, "Well, Lantar Sidonis, I suppose you know why you're here." Bailey started, "I… I suspect." Lantar started, shaking a little bit and looked at his desk, "Normally this issue would be closed immediately and we would put you in detention for murder, but because you are officially still C-Sec agent, we must have your testimony for detention. Are you ready?" Bailey asked and Sidonis nodded weakly, "So, December 8, 2188. That was the day you've 'discovered' the crime about the murder, hoping nobody would find out so you could work this out yourself, is that it?" Bailey asked and Lantar nodded again, "Can you tell us what happened exactly that evening before?" Lantar took a deep breath, answering, "I finished my job here at C-Sec and thought I'd spend some time and drink something, nothing special. Then this human whose name I can't remember came-" Lantar said, Bailey interrupted him, "His name was Glenn Brown. Go on." He said and Lantar continued, "He came and it seemed like normal chat. Then he offered me sex and I thought it wouldn't be bad to do so. When we came to his place, he gave me Hallex, this drug and I took a pill. After that, I remember only that I woke up next to the dead body and I was shocked, terrified only thinking that I killed that guy… I didn't want to kill him. I didn't do it on purpose! I didn't know what I was doing or even that I was doing it! I know how turian sex can be dangerous for human but I was stoned so I didn't know it!" Lantar said, finishing his testimony, "You didn't know… well, maybe you forgot about your C-Sec privileges. That human had Hallex, that is illegal drug on the Citadel. You should have arrested him and confiscate the drug in the first place. Lantar, what can you tell me about that?" Bailey said and Lantar was shaking even more, "I… I don't know… how did you find out anyway? I thought I got rid of all the evidences!" Lantar said, clenching his talons in the chair, "There was still the body of human. We investigated the biting marks on his body, created a casting of it and by the shape we assumed it belonged to turian. Fingerprints that you thought you deleted left a backup in the console so there was no problem of getting to it. Fingerprints proved that they belonged to Glenn, and to you. Anything else you want to ask?" Bailey explained. Lantar was opening his mouth as to say something but quickly shut it, looking to his desk, "No. Nothing to say…" Lantar said hopelessly and Bailey read the verdict prepared during the testimony:

" _The turian Lantar Sidonis, born on January 1, 2165 on, Palaven was accused of murder on human Glenn Brown, born on October 17, 2171 on Earth. The turian was accused of murder during intercourse. Violent and dangerous behavior of Lantar Sidonis was instigated by a psychotropic substance named 'Hallex' which increases euphoria but makes impossible the user to be aware of his environment._

 _Nevertheless, Lantar Sidonis served as an agent of the Citadel Security and duty of each officer is to arrest anybody who owns illegal material, including guns or unknown substances that can be hazardous to somebody's health. The turian agent didn't act and both of them used Hallex despite the fact that the officer was aware of consequences._

 _Therefore, Lantar Sidonis has been revoked of his status as a member of Citadel Security and will be put into detention for two years_."

Bailey finished reading and the officers next to Lantar grabbed him under his shoulders. Lantar didn't fight. He knew that the battle was already lost and so he cooperated while the officers dragged him out of the desk. He was feeling like shit. Ending up like this while he needed to do a lot more to repay his crimes done in past, " _Well, death number 11 on your list, Sidonis. Good job, me…_ " Lantar thought while taking down the elevator with other officers who were taking him to the detention cells. He was locked up behind the cell and so he sat down to think over of what he had done. He knew he blew it, but if he knew what Hallex was, perhaps he wouldn't take any and none of this has ever happened. He was sick, definitely he had problem and it was problem with his sexual lust that got his ass into this trouble. Why couldn't he just wait for Dartus and let him do the pounding? No, he had to go and kill human to make it interesting.

Few hours later, Dartus found out about what happened and arrived at C-Sec for answers. Lantar tried to get some sleep on the bed in cell when he heard knocking on the door cell. They were made of hardened glass so Lantar could see Dartus standing there, watching Lantar through the door. Lantar got himself from the berth, walking closer to the door, "I warned you." Dartus said, his face not showing any expression, "Warned me?" Lantar asked, "About falling hard to the ground. Damn it, kid. Why didn't you tell me?" Dartus narrowed his eyebrows, "Tell you what?" Lantar asked, "About the murder." Dartus said and Lantar looked elsewhere, "I… I was so glad to know that you were there to talk. Nobody else in the C-Sec talked to me the way you did, Dartus… how did you expect me to tell you?! Did you think I would come to you and say 'Hey, Dartus, I killed human while I fucked him.'?! I don't think you would just turn a blind eye over it. You work here for 20 years, man! How would I know if you didn't throw me into cell right away?" Lantar explained with anger in his voice but didn't realize how it may have sounded. It sounded like distrust, accusation, prejudices from his side and indeed it hit Dartus in his feelings a little, "I would be shocked, terrified maybe that something like that happened… but I wouldn't just throw you behind bars. Yeah, you wouldn't run away from it, but if you told me, I would talk to Bailey if he wouldn't ease your punishment. Kid… why don't you trust me?" Dartus said and Lantar was sensing he fucked up again, "Why can't you give me a goddamn chance to let me help you for fucks sake?!" Dartus said with his voice getting louder, anger significant in it. Lantar looked to the ground, feeling bad even more now that he hurt Dartus, "I'm sorry." He said, "I'm sorry if I didn't trust you, Dartus… I just feel that whenever I put my trust to somebody, they tend to trust me and usually it doesn't end well for them." Lantar looked back at Dartus, "I'm sorry if you feel offended. I just realize that all my career in C-Sec is done and I won't ever find job on the Citadel now that people know what I did!" he continued, feeling chills all over his body, "Tell me, Dartus… are we still friends?" Lantar asked, looking directly at Dartus' dark red eyes that surely could turn anybody on with combination of his dark brown skin with white markings on face. A long minute of silence passed since Lantar asked and Dartus finally took a breath, "I need to go…" Dartus said, obviously feeling hurt because he sensed that if they continued talking he would certainly start to cry in front of Lantar. Dartus started walking away from the cell block and Lantar punched the hardened glass, "No! Dartus! Please, come back! We need to talk, goddamn it! Shit!" he shouted and punched the door a few more times before he was zapped by the defensive system. Lantar was now completely alone, sure that Dartus wouldn't visit him any time soon. Dartus really wished to help Lantar, even now when Lantar made him angry. However, he couldn't do it. Lantar was imprisoned and Dartus was upset. Dartus definitely felt something towards Lantar, but when Lantar asked him about staying friends, it hurt him even though he knew he didn't want to press Lantar. That was the saddest thing.

One week passed since Lantar was put in detention. He was starting to get used to being prisoner, nobody bothered him, and he didn't have to do anything. However, there was still the guilt he couldn't do things to redeem himself or tell Dartus how he was sorry for saying something that could have hurt him. Suddenly, the C-Sec was flashing red with alarm, " _What?!_ " Lantar thought and raised himself on the bed, wondering what was happening. The C-Sec officers with helmets on ran through all the building to get out, some of them were commanded to evacuate prisoners. Lantar stood to the glass door, "What's going on?!" he asked as one turian officer stopped by his cell, "Step back! You're coming with me!" he said and opened Lantar's cell, "The C-Sec has been set on fire! We must evacuate!" the officer said, grabbing Lantar's arm and they ran out. Most of the agents were heading to the main entrance, but the agent with Lantar headed elsewhere, " _Where are we going?!_ " Lantar thought when he and the agent were alone in some corridor, "This isn't the main entrance! It was that way over there!" Lantar said when the turian took off his helmet, revealing very familiar face smiling at him, "Dartus? Alright, I don't understand anything now!" Lantar crossed his arms, "After we had our speech I was trying to find a way how to get you out of the cell so I studied structure of C-Sec academy and in the right time I triggered the fire alarm. In fact, C-Sec was not set on fire at all." Dartus explained, "You alarmed all C-Sec just because you wanted to get me out of here? Why? I thought you didn't want to see me!" Lantar said and Dartus pulled out ticket, "I understood that you would have miserable life with your reputation here on the Citadel so I wanted to help you. Here, take this," Dartus said, giving Lantar the ticket, "What's this?" Lantar asked, "One-way ticket to Earth. It will take you to London. It's place where mostly turians live along with humans. You'll fit in just perfectly." Dartus said, Lantar sighed, "I… I don't know what to say…" Lantar replied and Dartus placed his talon on Lantar's shoulder, "Don't say anything. There's no time to explain, kid. They will find out soon that this was false alarm. Head for the docking bay and get your ass off the Citadel. C-Sec cannot hunt you out of the Citadel." Dartus said, walking pass by Lantar. Lantar looked at the ticket and quickly behind himself, "Wait! Dartus!" Lantar said, Dartus stopped few meters ahead of him, "Why… why are you doing this? All this trouble to help me, you risk getting fired or worse, that ticket is expansive… why?" Lantar asked but Dartus merely smiled at him, "I'll find you once, kid and tell you everything." He winked and ran back the corridor to the official sections of C-Sec.

Lantar used the back door of C-Sec and appeared outside in the Presidium while the artificial light almost blinded him. He was in his civilian clothing, luckily C-Sec treated him like civilized person and not like shit. Lantar walked towards the elevator, still grasping the ticket in his talon. Everything went so fast he couldn't understand how he became delinquent and how fast he got out of the C-Sec detention. He trusted Dartus because he obviously had some plan in mind, spending 20.000 credits on this ticket must be worth the money. If Dartus caused trouble to all C-Sec just because of Lantar, then Lantar only had to trust him and his wink that reassured him. It didn't explain him why was Dartus doing that. He sensed that Dartus' behavior was strange and he was starting to realize that the old turian was having soft spot for Lantar. It didn't manner because Lantar was in the elevator arriving at docking bay. The strangest part was when Lantar had to pass the security control. He stepped into scanner and expected it would turn red. It didn't but how? The officers didn't seem to care about it anyway so Lantar just went through and searched his ship in the docking bay.

Lantar found the ship and stepped on board. He found his seat in there and in next ten minutes, they disconnected from the Citadel and left Serpent nebula. Lantar sat there, watching stars passing by and couldn't stop thinking because their journey was going to be about two hours long, " _Here I am, sitting like a fool on board of vessel with terminal station on Earth. I have literally nothing with me. Only one clothing, my omni-tool and few hundreds of credits on my account. This isn't gonna give me a shit. With this much creds, I'll be lucky to find something to eat, but I doubt that there is somebody selling food this cheap. Dartus gave me ticket to Earth, but why not Palaven? Did he know I wished to see Earth? He was strange guy but seemed to know me well. Also… what he did for me… does he love me? If he does, can I love him too? I like Dartus, but I don't want him to have sad life because of what I am and what I've done so far. I still love Garrus and he can try to repel me, ignore me, swear at me or accuse me… I care, immensely. I don't know what will expect me when I arrive at Earth, but hopefully I will find job so I can spare some credits and start a new life. Sorry, Garrus. It seems my promise has to wait until I find stable point in my life_." Lantar thought and decided to close his eyes during the flight so he could sleep.

Once he arrived at Earth, he looked at London. It was beautiful, historical and modern at the same time. Also he could smell the fresh air which was awesome feeling after living so long on the Citadel. Lantar decided to go and explore London for job opportunities and options where he could find place to sleep.


	6. Saved by Archangel

Garrus Vakarian arrived at Earth after hunt on Omega. Since Cerberus didn't exist, the Alliance had a free hand and could interfere in actions happening in the Attican traverse and Terminus systems. Garrus still felt need to fight injustice in Terminus and so he was fighting on Omega for the sake of old times. He had a new people. Mostly humans, then some turians between them, but he managed to create his own unit with support from the Alliance, mainly donations by admiral Steven Hackett and captain David Anderson. Garrus was leader of group of twelve people including himself. It almost felt like four years ago when he came to Omega for the first time and with Sidonis assembled his team. Now, he returned with his unit back on Earth to get some rest. They were all standing in the row and Garrus was standing in front of them, "We've made a great progress on Omega in last few hunts. Blue Suns, Blood Pack and Eclipse will rather think to do some crime now that they know about us regularly paying them visit. We encountered some batarian pirates who almost got us in trap, but we were smarter, stronger and managed to save ourselves. Remember this, it doesn't matter whether your mission is successful or not. Important is that you arrive back with all limbs attached to your body. Unnecessary death of your comrade is worse than losing package of supplies!" Garrus said and saluted. His soldiers saluted him back, "Enjoy your shore leave! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!" he added, smiling at his soldiers.

After Garrus' speech, his soldiers dissolved into many directions. They had two weeks of free time to spend with their families so some of Garrus' soldiers remained at the astro-port for another ships or planes that would take them to their families. Garrus Vakarian went his own way out of the astro-port and exited the Alliance Navy base area. His colleagues from the Alliance wished him Merry Christmas and yes, it was December 22. Christmas were going to be soon and it was even snowing in London. Garrus decided to enjoy this weather on Earth since he didn't have many options to visit Earth and so he rather walked home on foot. His house was pretty close to the Alliance base so it would be shame to use traffic when it was snowing like that. The streets were quite busy which was result of shopping Christmas presents. Despite the busy street, Garrus noticed something in the further distance to his left. A group of police officers surrounded somebody but Garrus couldn't clearly see who, " _I wonder what's happening, but do I really need to know it? I think I should care about my own problems with getting things ready before Solana arrives._ " Garrus thought about his sister who was going to visit him. Garrus just passed by the spot where policemen tried to negotiate with somebody who insisted on staying on place, "I'm sorry, mister, but this is public property where you cannot beg for money. You are disturbing other citizens!" the policeman said while the beggar defended himself, "Fuck off! Even C-Sec knows how to treat beggars better than you do! I have nowhere to go and nobody cares about me anymore so scram and let me be!" the beggar shouted and Garrus stopped his walk, " _That voice… and he knows about C-Sec! Is that…_ " Garrus thought, "Sir, if you're not gonna cooperate, we'll be forced to put you into detention." The officer said, "Go ahead! I got nothing to lose!" the beggar shouted and the policemen grabbed him. Garrus just squeezed himself between them, seeing that the beggar was Lantar Sidonis, "Sidonis?!" Garrus said and Lantar opened his mouth, not able to believe his eyes. Lantar was sitting on the ground with some newspaper under him, holding empty can so he could beg money from people. Now there was Garrus Vakarian standing in front of him. He looked wealthy, with nice blue and black armor on himself and it was strange to see the contrast between them, "Garrus…?" Lantar asked back, "Mister Vakarian, you know this man?" the officer asked and Garrus' eyes only stayed concentrated on Lantar sitting on the ground, "Unfortunately I do, sergeant. If you let me, I'll handle this." Garrus said and sergeant nodded, "Let's go, boys. We've got other things to do." He said and the policemen left. Lantar looked to the ground, not sure what to say. Garrus didn't let a second pass without examining Lantar as a beggar sitting there in his tattered clothing, " _What happened that he ended up like this?_ " Garrus thought, feeling a little bad. He didn't expect to see Lantar in this condition, "So… I think we've got nothing to talk about… Go ahead, finish me already…" Lantar said and Garrus widened his eyes, " _Sidonis…?_ " Garrus thought, "What are you waiting for? Finish me! You have the opportunity!" Lantar said, people were just passing by and ignored Garrus talking to him, "What are you talking about, Sidonis?" Garrus asked and Sidonis stood on his feet, barely holding stability, "You forgot already? Alright, I couldn't do it, ok? I promised you to redeem myself! I failed! C-Sec threw me away! I had to escape and now I have nothing! No credits, no guns, nothing but my omni-tool!" Lantar was wobbling on place as he was standing, "Go on, hero! Shoot me! You always wanted that!" Lantar shouted and lost stability, going down. Garrus caught him in his arms, taking off his glove and checking his forehead, " _He has a fever!_ " Garrus thought.

Garrus was sitting in an armchair while there was a salarian doctor talking to him about Lantar who was there covered in blanket, "How is he, doctor? He seemed that he's been in that cold weather quite long." Garrus asked, "It's nothing tragic, minor immunosuppression caused by prolonged exposure to severe weather. He will need only plenty of rest, regular income of food, drink and he'll be fine." The doctor explained, "Do you know how long it will take? I am expecting my sister and we want to spend Christmas together." Garrus explained, "Well, it can take few days… it can take week, depending on physical fitness." Salarian doctor said and Garrus sighed, "Alright, doctor, thank you for your patience… I've already forwarded some credits to you." Garrus said, "It's been pleasure, Garrus Vakarian." The salarian doctor said and after shaking hand with Garrus, he left his house. Garrus was standing alone in the room, looking at how Sidonis was wrapped with the blanket, " _Was it me? Did he do this to himself because of me? No… Sidonis is coward, he wouldn't go into extremes. He said C-Sec threw him away. What happened to him? Why did he come to Earth?_ " Garrus thought, leaving Sidonis alone sleeping and went down the stairs into his kitchen to prepare something for his patient to eat. After Jane Shepard died, Garrus gave up on finding anyone else so he was most of his time lonely when he arrived home. It was strange feeling to know that the person he wanted to kill two years back was sleeping in his house. Even stranger was that he was helping him. Garrus wanted to know what made Sidonis to become beggar or how he got kicked out of C-Sec. However, he didn't realize that this helping will give Sidonis new hope, a dangerous hope allowing him to think he has a chance to succeed with Garrus.

In the meantime, Lantar was waking up, feeling everything was spinning around him. He was feeling how every part of his body was spinning, the bed under him also seemed to spin. However, when he looked around and propped himself on elbows on the bed, he couldn't recognize the space and time. Everything around him was dim, " _It's dark in here. I guess it's evening? Never thought I would see night light after years on the Citadel… hmm?_ " Lantar noticed the door was opened and saw that he was not alone in this house. He saw light coming from downstairs, shadow and heard footsteps, " _Where am I? How did I even get here?_ " he asked himself and noticed his uncovered skin, realizing somebody put his clothes down. A while later, he saw somebody coming upstairs but couldn't tell who was it, only knew it was turian, " _Could it be…?_ " Lantar thought and watched. He leaned against the thick pillow behind his back and patiently anticipated the turian coming up to him. He looked like he had something in his arms. When he came up the stairs and lit the light in the room, Lantar recognized Garrus in comfortable clothing and without his eye visor, "Garrus?" Lantar asked when Garrus stood at the doorway, with bowl of soup, "Sidonis, you're awake… how are you feeling?" Garrus asked plainly and Lantar rested his head against his palm, "Feeling like shit… having chills, everything is spinning, muscles hurt me, can't feel my stomach, can't taste or smell." Lantar said and Garrus handed him the bowl of soup, "What is it?" he asked politely, "I don't want to know for how long you've been in that cold outside. I made some soup my mother used to cook when I had fever as a kid." Garrus said and approached the bowl to him, "I… I'm not hungry." Lantar said, trying to avoid the soup, "The doctor said you need to eat and drink if you want to be back on feet. Go on and eat it." Garrus said, "What it matters if I am healthy or not? You could let me freeze out there and nothing would change." Lantar said and Garrus lost patience, "Sidonis! Enough of this shit!" He placed the bowl on the table and stuffed spoon with soup inside Lantar's mouth violently, holding the back of his head, "You're not gonna die on me here just because you are coming through some kind of crisis!" he said and pulled out the spoon once Sidonis swallowed. Then he coughed, "You'll eat it! And I will make sure you'll eat it even if it means prying your mouth open and pour the whole soup in!" Garrus said and breathed long to lower his anger. Lantar was feeling like throwing up so he held his throat, "I thought you wanted me dead, Garrus…" Lantar said and Garrus didn't bother to answer. He stood up from chair he sat on and went to the doorway, looking back at Sidonis again, "Sidonis, you're not in state to argue and I'm tired so please, eat the damn soup and get some rest. It's late and we can talk tomorrow." Garrus said, letting the light on for Lantar to eat the soup and left him alone, " _He cares? Since when?_ " Lantar thought, looking at the bowl with spoon in it, " _Maybe I should listen to him and eat something, shit! I'm so cold! He shouldn't have taken off my clothes!_ " he took the bowl and started eating the soup. It wasn't bad. He couldn't taste much but sensed something that reminded him of Palaven. Truly, Garrus admitted his mother cooked this for him when he was sick. Lantar forced himself to eat the soup. Because the hunger was suppressed by the fever, he wanted to eat even less. However, he managed to finish it and got all soup in him. He felt a heat spreading from his belly. Definitely that soup warmed his stomach up. Lantar rested the bowl with spoon on the table next to him and covered himself with blanket, facing the wall. Garrus arrived few hours later to check up on Lantar. He entered the room, seeing the bowl empty and Lantar shivering as his upper part of body was uncovered. Garrus grabbed the blanket with his talons and rested it over Lantar, making sure he would stay in warmth. That moment when Lantar curled up once Garrus covered his upper body caused something. The expression in Garrus face changed, became less tense, it almost looked like Garrus smiled. He took the bowl with spoon and went to the doorway, switching the light off, "Good night, Lantar." Garrus said and left. After a long time, he said Lantar, not Sidonis.

The next morning Lantar woke up, he heard sounds coming from downstairs, it sounded like Garrus was preparing to leave somewhere, Lantar thought it would be better to find out. He carefully placed both feet on the floor and raised himself with the blanket around himself because he still felt chills. The world around him was still spinning, but it was better than yesterday so he could walk out of his room, seeing Garrus in his civilian outfit, "Garrus?" he asked and Garrus looked up, seeing Lantar on his feet, "Lantar? What are you doing out of the bed?" Garrus asked back, "I heard sounds and I was wondering… where are you going?" Lantar asked, "Well, maybe you noticed your clothing has reached its expiration. I'm going to look for something around in the turian markets." Garrus explained, "That's… nice of you, Garrus but you don't need to bother yourself." Lantar said but Garrus shook his head, "I'm not gonna let you leave this house at the same state as I've found you. I should be back in an hour. In the meantime, it's up to you what you'll do. You can watch something in TV but I'd recommend staying in bed." Garrus said and left the house immediately. Lantar walked slowly down the stairs and sat in an armchair in front of Garrus' TV, switching it on and looking for something to watch, " _Did he call me Lantar?_ " he thought, considering that strange. Lantar rested while watching random human channels, wrapped in his blanket.

Garrus returned indeed after an hour, "I'm back." he said and Lantar waved his arm to show he was in the armchair. Garrus came in the living room, showing Lantar the new clothes he found at the store. They were colored mostly with dark green and white with some thin golden yellow stripes between those two colors, "It looks… good. Thanks, Garrus." Lantar said, "I was choosing sizes according to your previous clothes so… try it on." Garrus said, giving the clothes over to Lantar. He turned around to give Lantar some privacy and let him dress up in the new clothing. Lantar stood up, "I think… I think it fits me well." he said, Garrus turned around and checked him, "Great. Now, you better take it off. I'll have to wash it before you can use it. Go back in bed, I'll bring something for you to eat." Garrus said, "Ok, mom." Lantar nodded and Garrus chuckled. Lantar went up to his room, taking everything off and wrapping himself in blanket again. In a short while, Garrus went upstairs, holding plate of meals for Lantar to eat. He placed it next to him on the table but Lantar didn't seem to be interested in eating, "You're not gonna eat?" Garrus asked, "I will…" Lantar said, turning to Garrus, "I just thought we would talk." He added and Garrus pulled chair to sit next to Lantar's bed, "What about?" he asked plainly, "I feel kinda bad that you're spending money and energy on somebody like me. When I arrived here, I didn't expect to see you." Lantar said but Garrus smiled, "Don't care about money. The Alliance pays well, surely better than C-Sec from what I remember. Besides… what happened to you and C-Sec? You said you were fired." Garrus asked, "I did horrible thing, Garrus. I was doing so well as an officer, having job, helping others, and then I just had to fuck up." Lantar said, holding his head with both hands, "What happened so bad?" Garrus asked, "I killed human… but I didn't do it on purpose. He wanted sex, I accepted. He gave me Hallex and that was fatal." Lantar explained, "Hallex is shit, I can confirm that. Used it once, also before sex and my partner almost didn't make it if she didn't throw me against wall, calming me down that way." Garrus chuckled and Lantar had to smile, "No way. I thought you wouldn't be like this." he said, "Nah. All of us were young and we all did some stupid things." Garrus explained, "So… you don't mind that another innocent died because of me?" Lantar said, "Hey, it's his fault that he gave you Hallex. More I'm pissed off for my ten men back then when we worked together!" Garrus remarked, "Right… that's another thing. Garrus, if you still hate me for what I've done, why do you bother saving my goddamned life?" Lantar asked, "Because I don't want you dead anymore. You forgot that Jane changed my mind two years ago. Let's be honest, Lantar. You're coward, but you're not proud of it. That's all I needed to know and Shepard confirmed it. You know you want to change so you try to fight. That's why I am helping you." Garrus explained, "But something changed, Garrus. You don't call me Sidonis, but Lantar. Are you telling me that we're… friends?" Lantar asked, pushing 'friends' out of his throat, "I wouldn't say friends. Let's say I hate you somehow less." Garrus smiled, "Right… I guess you want me to leave once I'm fine enough." Lantar said but Garrus thought for a while, "Actually… my sister is coming for a visit. Do you want to spend a week of Christmas with us before she leaves or… you have somebody to visit?" Garrus asked and Lantar shook his head. Actually, he thought of Dartus, but he was on the Citadel so he couldn't return. His decision was clear, "I'll stay." Lantar said slowly and Garrus stood up from chair, "Good. It's good to know that I didn't make bad choice letting you live." Garrus smiled at Lantar who smiled back. Before Garrus left, Lantar stopped him, "Uh, Garrus? About what I wrote you in that message, about Shepard… I'm sorry. I just tried to help and-" Lantar said but Garrus waved his hand over it, "Let's not talk about this, shall we? Go on and eat before that meal gets cold." Garrus said, leaving the room with Lantar alone, " _It definitely hurts him still._ " Lantar thought and started eating what Garrus prepared, " _I should not mess into this but… he helped me. I should help him as well._ "


	7. Solana Vakarian

The same day Garrus Vakarian anticipated special visitor, his sister Solana Vakarian. Lantar Sidonis in the meantime slept in his room so he could recover himself from the fever. Garrus was already preparing something for himself and his sister to eat because he received a message that she was already on the astro-port and was going to be soon at his house. Since Garrus found pitiful Lantar out on the street, he didn't stop with cooking meals. Also, he didn't have any presents for his sister or Lantar. Well, he was fine when he considered that he bought Lantar new clothes but he didn't have anything for his sister and that was bothering him.

Suddenly, as Garrus prepared the meals, he heard the doorbell ring and realized it was his sister. He hurried at the door and opened it, "Garrus!" Solana spread her arms and Garrus hugged her, "Sol! It's good to see you!" he said and let Solana enter, "Yeah. Missed you, bro. It's boring on Palaven so it was good to know I'm gonna visit you on Earth. Always wished to see it! A little cold and snow but I'm not made of sugar." Solana explained and Garrus chuckled, "Heh… wanna let me take care of your luggage?" Garrus offered himself to help Solana, "I'm fine, Garrus, but thanks for your help." She said, taking her luggage, "Eh, Solana?" Garrus stopped her and she looked at him, "Try to avoid the room right in front of the stairs." Garrus warned her, "Why…?" she wondered, "I've got an unexpected guest…" Garrus explained shortly but Solana understood, or at least Garrus thought she did. She headed upstairs, pulling her luggage with her and finally got up. She was turning right to another rooms, ignoring the door which was right in front of the stairs, but stopped before entering her room. She looked at the door, thinking who was Garrus' unexpected guest. Curiosity didn't leave her still. She left her luggage at the door to her room and went closer to the other door, silently opening them and peeking inside. The light inside was dim, but Solana saw the bed and somebody wrapped in it. She opened the door a little more to see who was it, " _A turian…? Who is he?_ " she asked herself, seeing the peaceful, sleeping face. She closed the door again and went to her room, unpacking the stuff she had. Once she was done, Solana went downstairs to join Garrus at lunch.

"So, how is mom?" Garrus asked Solana during their lunch, "Mom's fine. She had some surgeries, but she's gonna be fine… I hope." Solana answered, looking at her meal, "You don't sound too enthusiastic about it. What's wrong?" Garrus asked, "It's complicated. The doctors say that she should be fine in her age but she keeps getting tumors after each surgery." Solana explained plainly, "Is there anything I could do? I can pay her treatment. You know salarians, thieves when it comes to medicine." Garrus said, "I think credits aren't gonna solve this, bro." Solana replied, taking sip of her tea, "What do you mean?" Garrus asked her, not understanding, "Medicaments, surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation and other chemical stuff just slows down the growth of disease but will never cure it completely. Do you know what would help her?" Solana asked but Garrus shook his head, "It would help her to see her son, my brother that is sitting right in front of me. She keeps asking me 'Where's Garrus? Is he ok? I didn't hear from him so long'." Solana said and Garrus sighed, "There's been a lot, Sol. I don't have much time now." Garrus explained and Solana stopped spoon right in front of her mouth, "Oh? From what I know, the Reapers are gone." Solana said, "You don't understand. There is still injustice and evil within Terminus. If I'm not gonna do a purge there, who else will?" Garrus argued, "You're not the only one who's part of this Alliance Navy, Garrus. Anyone else can do your job during your visit on Palaven! Garrus, she's dying! Can't you see it?" Solana said, Garrus looked elsewhere, "Don't look away! Why didn't you join the turian hierarchy after the war was over? Why the Alliance instead?" Solana asked, Garrus looked at his food, "I have my reasons…" he answered silently, "Then please, try not to act like you care when you don't." Solana said, sensing that Garrus was pushing something back. Solana realized she hit Garrus right in the feelings because his mandibles tightened around his mouth and he tried not to cry in front of her, "I… I didn't want to… Garrus…" she stood up from her meal and went over to Garrus, letting him to hug her. Garrus definitely cried, but didn't leave his eyes opened so the tears wouldn't fall, "I didn't want to be mean. I'm just worried about her because you haven't seen her for years. Garrus… don't be sad, bro." Solana rubbed Garrus' head, trying to comfort him.

In few minutes, they returned back to eating and acted like nothing happened. Because Garrus was still wordless, Solana changed the subject herself, "When I was upstairs, I just peeked inside that room you said I should avoid. There was a turian, but I don't know him… who is he?" Solana asked, Garrus took a deep breath, "His name is Lantar Sidonis. He is my… my former colleague." Garrus explained, "You never told me about him before. Who is he?" Solana said, "I met him on Omega in Terminus systems and there weren't any options to send messages to you. That's why you don't know." Garrus replied, "Can understand that. What's your story with him?" she asked, "It's a long story. We fought on Omega against crime with other people in our group. He betrayed me, my men died because of him and I wished to kill him but I didn't. He's trying to redeem himself because he promised it." Garrus said, his voice finally stable, "I see… what is with him that he's here?" Solana asked, "That was actually a coincidence. I was on my way from astro-port as my shore leave started. I found him in the street. He was begging for food, having tattered cloth on himself, he was delirious because he got fever." Garrus explained, "Spirits, poor guy! So you decided to take care of him, right?" Solana said and Garrus nodded. Solana smiled at that, "It's nice to know that you care for him even that he betrayed you." She said, "He's doing his best. I saw no reason not to help him. If I let Lantar freeze to death out there, I wouldn't be better." Garrus explained and Solana nodded in reply, "Sol, he's with us on Christmas so I hope it's fine with you." Garrus said "Sure! At least we're not gonna be only two!" she smiled, finishing her meal, "The food was great, Garrus. At least something from our mom never changes." She made Garrus compliment, bringing a weak smile on his face.

Garrus cleaned the table and Solana decided to take shower. Her plans for the rest of the day were unknown, but now that she knew who Lantar was, she thought it would be good to get to know him better. After the shower, Solana dressed up in her room and headed to Lantar. The door opened, Lantar was still sleeping and the room was darkened. She switched on the light which flickered few times before turning on and pulled chair to Lantar's bed. Solana sat there, watching Lantar's sleeping face being so peaceful, " _How come someone like you ended up like that?_ " She thought and placed her talon on Sidonis' forehead. It was warmer, but he wasn't burning. The feeling of colder hand and Lantar's hot forehead connected, causing Lantar to open his eyes. First, he didn't know what was happening, but looked at the turian woman sitting next to him, "You're awake, Sidonis?" Solana asked, smiling down at him. Lantar was still thinking who she was, "You… you're Garrus' sister?" he asked and pushed himself up against the pillow so he could talk to her. Solana nodded, "My name is Solana, but others call me Sol for short. You know about me?" she asked, "Garrus said you were visiting. I'm… Lantar Sidonis. I guess Garrus has already told you about me." Lantar said and she nodded with smile. He shook his head, "Shit… then you must know about what I've done to him." He said, looking to his knees, "I know. He also said you're trying to make it up to him and how you ended up." Solana said and Lantar nodded to it, "Why didn't you try to find job here?" she asked, "Who said I didn't try? I tried to find job once I landed here. Everywhere I came, they said 'Sorry, no job' or 'Only humans' and turian district didn't want me, they said they were full on capacity." Lantar said and sighed only thinking of that. Solana took his warm talon and grasped it, "And Garrus helped you. You seem to be a nice guy, honestly." She said, Lantar looked at her holding his talon, "Do you think so?" Lantar asked when he watched as her talon rested on his faceplates, then looked at her, "I think you deserve better. If you did all you could, maybe you should find a way to be happy." She said, rubbing him on plates. Lantar was sensing she was hitting up on him, but not like Alice. Alice was only longing for sex, but Solana's smile and eyes were asking for something else, "Sol… I… I don't think this could work." Lantar said, taking off her talon, "Why not?" Solana wondered and Lantar looked behind her, leaning over to her, "Can you close the door? I think Garrus shouldn't hear this…" he whispered and Solana nodded, pushing the door behind her. She paid attention Lantar, "I am gay… besides, I don't think Garrus wouldn't let me date you." Lantar said and Solana seemed to be amused, "I'm sorry if I broke your chances. It's not that you wouldn't be attractive, you are, but I'm simply not into girls…" Lantar said and Solana nodded, still smiling, "You don't look much gay to me, Lantar." Solana chuckled, "Probably because I spent some time of my life in military." He explained and Solana was about to interrogate him, "So, you like boys? I guess it's not big difference from loving girl." She smiled, "Is there somebody special for you?" she asked and Lantar nodded, "Oh, who is it?" she asked curious, but Lantar couldn't push it out of himself. He merely smiled and looked to the side. Significant blush in his face appeared but he couldn't answer. From his expression and the fact that the door had to be closed, she found out herself, "No way! Garrus?!" she said aloud and the door opened, with Garrus inside.

"Did you call me? Oh, Sol! I didn't know you'd be talking to Lantar." Garrus said, looking at Lantar, "How are you feeling?" he asked, "I-I-I… good! I think I could be fine tomorrow!" Lantar stuttered and Garrus walked closer, resting his palm against Lantar's plates, checking his temperature, "Well, definitely you're not burning, but you should stay in bed and we'll see tomorrow." Garrus said and Lantar gave him nod, "You're strangely red in face, Lantar. Do you need water?" Garrus asked, "It's ok, Garrus! Solana will be here when I need something!" Lantar notified and Garrus looked at her, "Will you?" Garrus asked and his broadly smiling sister agreed, "Alright, when you need assistance, I'll be down in the living room." He said and immediately left, closing door behind himself.

Lantar sighed long and Solana had to hold her belly while laughing. Once she stopped laughing, she looked at Lantar, "Sometimes it's hard to talk to him when I get this… nervousness!" Lantar explained, "When did you start to feel you liked him?" Solana asked, "It was after few weeks of our work on Omega. He was there for me and I was covering his back. He saved me like million times and I started to feel that…" Lantar said, "Did you ever tell him? Does he know about what you feel?" she asked but Lantar shook his head, "No and I don't think I'll ever have the chance without hurting him." He said, "Why would you hurt him?" she asked, "In the first moments I was planning to tell him, but conditions were harsh on Omega, we couldn't get ourselves distracted when there were mercs waiting for us so I thought I would wait for some other opportunity. Then, Garrus told me that he loved a human woman called Jane Shepard. I was like 'Ok, he's straight. Not gonna succeed.' so I stopped trying and concentrated on our missions." Lantar explained, "But you still feel for him. How?" Solana asked, "It didn't let go. I was still possessed by the mind of telling Garrus that I like him, but I was afraid of his reaction. Later I was captured by Blue Suns. They let me go but I had to make sure Garrus wouldn't get in their way so I got him somewhere else while the gangs would kill our men. I hated myself for that but I ran from Omega and flew to the Citadel. I was thinking: _yeah, I can start new life here. I can find somebody else and thinking about Garrus shouldn't bother me._ " Lantar said, "But none of it was happening, right?" she asked and Lantar shook his head, "Everything I did was for my own survival. Like I said, I hated myself, but Garrus was also alive and he was thirsty for revenge. I knew he would come for me. I felt like shit, nothing gave me pleasure and I was only expecting when would Garrus come to end it. He came and Jane Shepard came too. She warned me about Garrus. I so didn't want to die. I tried so much to show him my regret, but he was possessed with revenge. Only Jane changed his mind and Garrus let me go. I promised to make things better and my life was a little bit brighter with knowledge that Garrus forgave me." Lantar said, "He loved Jane, right? She was strong woman who defeated Reapers." Solana remarked, "Jane was everything for him. When she died, I think it left a lot on him. Each time I try to talk to him about this, he is upset. That wound is still fresh." Lantar said and Solana placed her hand on Lantar's leg, "I understand how bad you must feel. That you love him but cannot say anything because he is still mourning Jane's death… Should I talk to him? He might listen to me." Solana said but Lantar looked at her seriously, "Just, do me a favor… try not to talk about Jane in front of him… he would find out I told you and… I don't need him to hate me again. Not now when we are relatively ok with each other…" Lantar said but wasn't sure that Solana would listen, "Please, don't do it! I… I think I'll try talking to him before I leave. He can hate me later but now I don't want to mess up his shore leave." Lantar pleaded and for one moment, Solana thought how to decide. However, she understood Lantar was right so she promised not to talk about Jane.

Next few days were spent were spent in relaxed atmosphere. Lantar was finally feeling healthy, the world was more stable under his feet. Both, Solana and Lantar were helping Garrus with cooking and other things in his house. Lantar and Solana kept their conversation for themselves, but even so, Solana couldn't resist to make a joke about Lantar's sexuality and said about him that he and Garrus would make a great couple. Naturally, Lantar laughed and had to hide his face as he was blushing. He was so easily put out of balance when somebody would say something about him and Garrus together. Garrus laughed back, saying that his heart belongs only to one person who is dead. Right after that, Lantar and Solana looked at each other, realizing what was happening. They could clearly see that Garrus was desperately obsessed by Jane and was blaming himself for her death. His love towards her didn't allow him to continue in his life and finding someone else. Lantar had such a big compulsion to talk some sense to Garrus, expressing him his love. As the time was progressing and official part of Christmas was over, Lantar had to prepare that once Solana was leaving, he was about to be alone with Garrus and it would be the right time to talk. That day came, and on December 29, Solana was finally leaving.

"I hope you'll find some courage and come to see our mom on Palaven, bro." Solana said, hugging Garrus, "I'll do my best." Garrus answered. They let go of each other and Solana reached out her hand for Lantar so they shook their hands, "Good luck with your life, Lantar and good luck also with… you know what." She winked at him, "Take care of yourself. Bye, Solana. It was good to meet you." Lantar said and Solana waved them as she left. Garrus closed the door, looking at Lantar, "So, I guess you will leave soon as well." He said but Lantar gave him unexpected answer, "I was thinking… how about if we went to Omega? For the sake of good old times to remember and honor our fallen friends?" Lantar suggested, a faint smile appeared on Garrus' face, "You know… I think that they deserve it. Alright, we will go tomorrow! Get ready for it, I'll make sure the Alliance officers will give you some armor!" Garrus said and Lantar gave him nod. It almost seemed like they were good with each other again. But that was just the lull before the storm.


	8. Facing the truth

Another Blood Pack krogan was down. Garrus and Lantar were rushing through an industrial district of Omega, enjoying the purge. Just Garrus and him alone. They were about to clean one warehouse. They occupied each side of the entrance door and Garrus was explaining his strategy, "This is their headquarters! If we shut this place down, Blood Pack will be done for some time. Listen. We will rush inside and destroy-" he said but Lantar shouted, "Watch out!" and Garrus jumped aside as Lantar shot another krogan down, "Damn… that was close call. Thanks, Lantar." Garrus said and sneaked beside him, "No problem. What was your plan again?" Lantar asked him, "See those big fuel tanks in the back? If you manage to overload them somehow, this place will light up like a Christmas tree." Garrus explained, "Aren't the innocent gonna die?" Lantar asked but Garrus left chuckle, "Don't worry. Industrial district is crawling with mercs! There aren't any citizens!" Garrus said and Lantar moved inside the base. Garrus climbed up a ladder nearby, covering Lantar from above. Their goal was quite simple: blow this place up and go. Lantar moved through base behind covers, "On position… I'll draw some attention so you can shoot them out." Lantar transmitted, shooting at one Blood Pack merc as other mercs started shooting at the cover where Lantar was hiding, "Uh… I'd use some kind of help!" Lantar said, "I'm on it." Garrus assured him as the mercs were falling down after a shot from sniper rifle. After five of them falling dead, the mercs were panicking, looking around each other. Lantar used this opportunity and killed the rest of them. He ran towards the fuel tanks controls and started to override their configuration to overload. After two minutes of silence it was done, "There! Garrus, it's gonna blow up!" Lantar said and ran away from the console. Garrus hurried down as well. Both of them, running side by side away from the warehouse. It was close call, the warehouse blew right behind them and shockwave pushed them to the ground.

Garrus Vakarian got on his feet, offering his talon to Lantar. Both of them watched the warehouse burning, both of them smiled, "It seems we are done here." Lantar said, "Blood Pack is slowed down, but not destroyed." He looked at Lantar, "Thank you, Lantar. It's good to remind ourselves why we did this before." He said and Lantar looked at him, "Yeah. I kinda missed this. It feels good though." He replied. Garrus was taking off his eye visor, "Lantar, I want you to see something." He said and handed Lantar his eye visor, "What do you mean?" Lantar asked, "Look to the frame." Garrus pointed and Lantar looked at it, seeing names carved in it, "Erash, Monteague, Mierin, Grundan Krul, Melenis, Ripper, Sensat, Vortash, Butler, Weaver… but Garrus, those are all…" Lantar said, "The dead ones? Yes…" Garrus said, walking at the edge of platform, looking at Omega, "Why do you show me this?" Lantar asked, "I wanted you to know that all of them were great men who deserved better, we both know it. I know what you're trying to do, Lantar, but it's useless…" Garrus said, Lantar sensed bad things from him to say, "All this time… I was thinking that justice was made when I let you go and suffer from guilt. You did a lot but it's not enough…" Garrus continued and Lantar already knew this wasn't going to end well for him. He expected more from him to say, "Our friends and comrades will never rest unless I do this…" Garrus said, facing Lantar and raising his hand. Lantar's eyes closed as if he was getting ready to be punched or worse, "I forgive you, Lantar." Garrus said. Lantar opened his eyes, noticing Garrus' talon on his shoulder, "You… what?" Lantar was confused, "There's been enough hatred, Lantar. I think you proved yourself enough that you regret. Those ten people who are dead wouldn't be proud if I didn't approve what you did already." Garrus explained and Lantar couldn't believe his ears, Garrus forgave him just like that? "Come, Lantar. We can drink something from my bar on Earth." Garrus said, placing one arm around Lantar's back in a sign of friendship. Lantar felt warm feeling spreading across his body as Garrus actually accepted him. They took a ship they arrived with and headed back to Earth.

The journey took them nearly two hours, but they arrived back at Earth and came to Garrus' house in the evening. Lantar wasn't much drinking person, but when Garrus wished to celebrate something, he needed to make sure it would be big, "Yeah! Go on, Lantar! Here! Have some more drink!" Garrus cheered and poured another liquor to Lantar's glass, "Man, Garrus! We should slow down or we're not gonna stand next morning!" Lantar chuckled, "Bullshit! We survived many things, boy! Now as your former boss, I say drink!" Garrus said and Lantar laughed, "That's right! You're not my boss anymore!" Lantar said, standing from the sofa, "Hey, where are you going?" Garrus wondered, "Just gonna take shower. I don't remember when I had last one…" he said, waving to Garrus, "Not gonna disappear, pal!" Garrus assured him.

Lantar disappeared upstairs from Garrus' sight in the bathroom. He took off his clothing bought by Garrus and stepped in the shower, pouring hot water over himself. It was so good to feel it after who knows how long, and it was even better now that Lantar and Garrus were friends again. Lantar took his time, his shower took twenty minutes but he enjoyed it. After drying himself, he dressed up back in his clothes and was taking slow walk down the stairs, "Garrus is somehow silent… maybe he fell asleep while watching TV?" he thought, going for the living room connected with kitchen. Following look was going to be real horror for him, "GARRUS!" he screamed out loud as he saw the other turian lying on the floor, bottles of liquor lying randomly around the kitchen. When he ran closer, he spotted some pills on the table. He grabbed it and looked at them, "Painkillers… goddamn it! Garrus!" he knelt down to Garrus, pulling him up to lean him against his thigh, "Garrus! Man, wake up!" Lantar shouted and slapped Garrus few times, "Garrus, don't die on me for fucks sake!" he shouted more, Garrus finally spoke something, "Jane… I… I'm coming to you…" he said and Lantar didn't hesitate. He grabbed Garrus under shoulders and pulled him up the stairs to the bathroom, "If you're gonna die here I'll never forgive you, Garrus!" Lantar said and tried to stuff Garrus in the bathroom. He used shower and poured cold water over him. However, no result came from it, "Fucking shit! Garrus!" he shouted, stopping the water and kneeling down to him, "Garrus, please! I beg you! You did everything, said everything just so you could die here?! And who's the coward here now?! Garrus! I… I love you…" Lantar pressed his forehead against Garrus', "I… love you too…" Garrus said. Lantar felt happy to hear Garrus saying it, but sad once he realized it was for Jane as Garrus was delirious, "I'm sorry, Garrus. Desperate situations need desperate acts…" Lantar said and violently pried Garrus' mouth open. He stuffed his talon inside Garrus' mouth and reached for his uvula.

Something happened. Garrus started coughing violently and it was signal for Lantar that it worked. He continued and before he could notice, Garrus turned himself around and vomited in the bath rub. It was disgusting. Everything that Garrus drank and pills he swallowed were now piling in the bathtub but Lantar was happy that Garrus got it out of himself. He patted Garrus on his back, smiling at him. Soon it was done. Garrus stopped vomiting but breathed heavily, "Garrus! You ok?" Lantar asked worried as he leaned closer to Garrus, "I feel… horrible… help me up…" Garrus said and Lantar took one arm as he helped Garrus on his feet. Both of them were drunk, but Lantar was less drunk than Garrus so he made his support while getting him in his room. Garrus sat down on the bed, his head was heavy, "You can't sleep with clothes, Garrus. Want me to help?" Lantar asked with concern in his face, "Maybe… pull the shirt off… I might take care of the rest." Garrus mumbled, hardly raising his arms up so Lantar grabbed his shirt and pulled it up, revealing his torso, "Thanks…" he said, laying down to his bed, fighting his trousers, "Uh… would you mind…" Garrus muttered and Lantar merely smiled, "No problem." He said and proceeded to taking off Garrus' shoes, followed by the trousers, "Thanks man…" Garrus repeated, lying on his stomach, not covered by blanket, "I'll take care of the mess we did. If you need something, just call me." Lantar left the room as Garrus was forceless to speak. There was much to do. Clean all the mess in the kitchen, the pills, then the vomit in the shower. Shower was fine, but the bottles and stains on the carpet were horror to clean. It was almost midnight but Lantar finally made it done. He was sweaty not long after having shower, but he didn't care for showering again because he was damn tired and needed to sleep. He walked up the stairs, for the last time checking on Garrus if he didn't die in the meantime. He opened the door to Garrus' room, coming closer to Garrus' bed. He leaned closer to Garrus' nose, sensing the stream of air sliding his faceplates, "Good… he's still breathing…" Lantar thought, raising himself back up, smiling at Garrus sleeping peacefully and recovering from nearly poisoning himself to death, "Man, Garrus… never do it again to me. You almost brought me a heart attack…" he thought again, leaving Garrus to sleep. Lantar went in his room, undressing himself and covering himself in the blanket. He fell asleep within five minutes.

The following morning was December 31. Both, Garrus and Lantar were fully aware that this day was important for humans since it was the last day of year. They were going to say good bye to year 2188 and say hello to year 2189. Lantar woke up as first. His hangover was weak, again, because he didn't drink as much as Garrus. Lantar dressed himself up in the clothes and decided to check up on Garrus. He entered Garrus room, seeing that the turian managed to wrap himself in blanket in progress of the night, "Garrus? Are you asleep?" Lantar asked. The other turian opened his eyes, noticing sunlight piercing the windows and illuminating him, "Mhm… I was…" Garrus said, pushing himself to wall behind his bed, "I feel strange… what happened? I remember we were drinking, you went to shower yourself and… then nothing." Garrus said and Lantar sat opposite to the bed on the chair, "Well… you drank all the liquors and ate all painkillers." Lantar said and Garrus seemed surprised, "I did that? Well… I guess I didn't know what I was doing." He answered to it, "How do you feel? I was resurrecting you for sure when I made you throw everything up." Lantar asked him, "My head… slight headache. Perhaps because I was vomiting as you say." Garrus explained. Lantar sensed that there was time to talk for real now "Alright… before I go down and make you something, I think we should talk, Garrus." Lantar said and Garrus frowned, "It doesn't sound like I'm gonna like it…" Garrus remarked, "No, perhaps you might hate me after that, but I and Solana agreed it would be good to discuss it." Lantar said, "Solana? Well… shoot." Garrus said and Lantar took a deep breath, "You're saying you don't know why you poisoned yourself yesterday, but I don't buy it… why did you do it?" Lantar asked, "I don't know why do you think I'm lying. I was drunk, I could do it because of it." Garrus said, "Yeah? Then why did you say 'Jane, I'm coming to you'?" Lantar looked at Garrus who closed his eyes, obviously annoyed, "O-Ok, Lantar. I think we're done here!" Garrus said, getting himself out of bed and standing. Lantar raised himself, blocking him, "You're not going anywhere, Garrus." he said but Garrus punched Lantar at face the way he hit the wardrobe, "Alright! You fucked up!" Lantar thought and grabbed Garrus by his frills and pulled him sharply back. Then he pinned his neck against the wall, "Calm the fuck down, Garrus! I just want to talk about this problem that made you almost kill yourself!" Lantar growled, Garrus tried to talk as Lantar gripped his neck, "You… none of your business! Not your problem!" he said hoarsely, "It is my problem! As well as problem of your sister, your mother, everybody who knows you! You cannot hide this forever, Garrus! Not when you tend to suicidal thoughts!" Lantar said and Garrus kicked him away with both feet that he hit the other wall, "You want to know it? Fine! I was there when she didn't return! I couldn't assist her when she died! Couldn't help her! She sacrificed herself and knew how I loved her! Are you happy to know?! Is that it?!" Garrus growled and Lantar got himself on his feet, "You loved her, I know… everyone in the Alliance knows, but you cannot let your past control who you'll become. The life goes on and you should find somebody you will love and who will love you!" Lantar explained him, "Who… who do you think you are that you can lecture me?! There is nobody like she was!" Garrus snapped out, "If I remember, Jane herself taught you how to overcome past, remember? Do you think that she would want this? Do you think she wants you to live alone, unhappy only thinking about her or even kill yourself so you could be with her? Think, man! Think!" Lantar said and Garrus' fists rounded, "Maybe you are right… but there is nobody who could love me the same way she did!" Garrus offended, "Do you really think so? How can you measure love? You cannot! What if there is somebody who wishes to be with you right now? Somebody to tell you that you're not alone and somebody who can embrace you?" Lantar said, almost soothingly, "So far I didn't see you would have experience with love so what do you know about it?!" Garrus said but Lantar kept his mind cool, "Garrus, really? All those years, on Omega before and after that… have you been always so blind?" Lantar asked calmly, making Garrus confused, "What do you mean…?" Garrus asked, "I cared about you! Your opinions, feelings, everything! Garrus, I love you!" Lantar shouted at him, stunning Garrus at place, "Say what…?" Garrus asked again, "You heard it. I don't know if you accept it or not, but I needed you to know what I feel all this time… even when you hated me, when you wanted to kill me, I never stopped to love you." Lantar said, looking to the ground, avoiding Garrus' look. He expected Garrus to answer. Instead of that, he received punches at face he couldn't dodge and heard his mandibles crack. Garrus added few punches to the stomach, finishing Lantar as he curled up on the ground. Garrus went back to his table next to his bed. Lantar was writhing in pain on the ground as he tried to gain some senses. He was bleeding out of his mouth, but managed to get himself to a sitting position and opened his eyes, seeing barrel of Garrus' gun at his face, "G-G-Garrus…?" Lantar stuttered, "You screwed us! You've let ten people die, their families mourn and now you expect me to love you?! First, I am not gay, second, I thought you changed so I forgave you but all I can see now is the same cowardly turian you used to be in past! You haven't changed! I would put my life into your hands and you would screw me as well!" Garrus hissed, Lantar looked down to his feet, "Then… why all the help? All the care, energy, time you put into me being healthy again, huh? Why forgiving when you hate me again? Why, Archangel?" Lantar was shaking, his head looked back at Garrus' face, "Wasn't there… at least a little love behind that?" he smiled painfully, his mandibles cracking and tears rolling down his face. Garrus wished he could kill Lantar, but he didn't, "I've forwarded 20.000 credits to your account… get your ass away from my sight and never return back! I don't ever want to see you or your face, Lantar Sidonis! Do you understand?!" Garrus growled silently, holstering his gun. A minute of silence passed, both of them were staring at each other from different positions, Garrus from above, Lantar from the bottom. Lantar finally stood up, barely holding himself on legs. He stood in the doorway, holding his belly before leaving Garrus' room, "Good bye, Garrus Vakarian. I'll do my best not to bother you anymore…" Lantar said, hobbling himself away from Garrus' house.

Garrus was now alone, Sidonis was gone. Everything around was silent, but this silence was uncomfortable for Garrus. He was thinking. Everything what Lantar said about Jane was true and he realized he was angry exactly because he was right. Garrus processed through what happened. He was mad at Lantar for loving him, but was it really necessary? Garrus was now questioning himself and soon realizing what he has done, "Oh spirits, please! Tell me it's not too late!" Garrus quickly put on some clothes and ran out of his house. Looking around himself but he was gone, "SIDONIS! COME BACK!" Garrus screamed but his efforts were futile.


	9. Reunion

Lantar met familiar place in a vessel that was supposed to transport him back on the Citadel. He sat down, made himself comfortable and enjoyed the journey while watching nebulas and systems from his window, " _Here am I. Sitting here like a fool again, with no credits, only some clothing on myself and of course my omni-tool. I wish somebody could tell me when did I fuck up so much. First, I lose job in C-Sec, then I get beaten up and threatened by the one who I loved, being erased from his life. What am I doing wrong? Is it really bad that I just want to be happy with someone? Yeah, I expected Garrus to be offensive about my affection towards him, but he could just say 'I'm not gay' without beating me up. What does it matter anyway? He pointed his gun at my face, I can still feel the blood on my tongue and the pain in my belly when I think of what he did… Garrus said he doesn't love me, but I doubt he would care so much if he didn't find any interest in me. There you go, Sidonis. This is what you get when you try being nice and honest to people. Maybe I should just forget about Garrus. Thinking about him only reminds me of what I love about him and it doesn't want to let go of me. I should think of the nice things that are expecting me when I arrive back on the Citadel. Prison, C-Sec officers watching me and… maybe Dartus. He said he would find me, but he didn't leave me a message about his arrival on Earth. Perhaps he never left Citadel? I think Dartus is somebody I want to see the most. He was nice to me and I think he loves me. Why didn't I just go for it and didn't take him when I had the chance?!_ " Lantar sighed while thinking, " _I'm thinking too much. The journey will be long and I should take a nap before arriving at the Citadel and getting caught by C-Sec._ " he thought and made himself comfortable while the ship was going to take Lantar to the Citadel, ETA 2 hours.

The star ship docked to the Citadel, a shaking of the ship made Lantar to wake up as he spotted lights of the docking bay shining brightly, " _Home, sweet home._ " Lantar thought without any sign of emotion in it. He walked down to the ground deck and headed for the escape. He got to the docking bay and saw many C-Sec officers around, not paying attention to him " _They're not after me?_ " he thought and proceeded to the registering point so he could update his status being present on the Citadel, "Good morning, mister. How can I serve you?" the receptionist said, "Good morning, Lantar Sidonis. I've departed last week so I'm here to update my status on the Citadel." Lantar explained shortly and the receptionist looked inside her console, "Ah, yes. You departed on December 19. Is there some specific reason of your departure?" the receptionist asked, Lantar frowned, " _She doesn't know that I was under C-Sec custody?_ " Lantar thought, "You mean… isn't there any note on me like from C-Sec?" Lantar asked, the receptionist shook her head, "No, your file is clean. Is there problem?" she asked, "I… no. I was just wondering." Lantar answered, "Enjoy your stay on the Citadel!" she smiled and Lantar proceeded to the security control point. Not even security seemed to be aware of Lantar, it didn't seem that it recognized Lantar as convict so he passed through and took the elevator down to the Presidium. He needed to go to the C-Sec, find out what was going on that C-Sec officers were suspiciously calm about Lantar being back on the Citadel.

Lantar arrived at the C-Sec academy, standing at reception. Alice immediately recognized him, "Oh, shit! I mean… Lantar? Is that you? You look different!" She said, "Yeah. Pretty much because I got beaten up and have some fractures on my head. How are you, Alice?" Lantar asked, trying to smile as it hurt him, "I was good. Things were pretty weird after you disappeared once that fire alarm was set up." Alice said, "Why are officers fine with me roaming around? I thought they would arrest me once I stepped in docking bay." Lantar explained her, but Alice didn't seem to know, "I think you should ask Bailey for answers. He's in his office." Alice said and Lantar nodded, leaving towards the elevator. Nobody from C-Sec minded Lantar. Truly, without his uniform they didn't even recognize him and with his new clothing he couldn't even be recognized. The elevator took Lantar to the top floor to Bailey. Presidium didn't change one bit since he left. Like he never left. On the top floor, Lantar entered Bailey's office. Captain Bailey interrupted his paperwork and looked at Lantar, "Oh I'll be damned… Lantar Sidonis. What brings you here?" Bailey asked and Lantar stood in front of his desk, "Questions." Lantar clarified shortly and Bailey gestured him to sit on the chair, "What happened with C-Sec? When I got here, I was expecting handcuffs right away when I got here." Lantar said but Bailey only shrugged, "Well, how to say that… we have nothing to accuse you of." Bailey said but Lantar was confused, "Say what? But I…" Lantar didn't finish it. Bailey got into it, "Killed human? That's what we both know, but there aren't any evidences that would prove it." Bailey explained, "You say… nothing?" Lantar asked and Bailey shook his head, "No. Fingerprints are gone, even the human you killed disappeared. His apartment was completely purged with no evidences that something happened. The only thing that is still valid is that he owned Hallex, but nothing more. Because of that, the verdict was invalid and we had to shred it." Bailey said, Lantar was thinking if Dartus was behind this, "So you're just gonna let me go? How is it possible that there is nothing on me?" Lantar asked, "The answer is simple. Dartus was thorough while cleaning your name." Bailey explained and Lantar knew Dartus was in problem, "What is with Dartus? How did you find out?" Lantar asked many questions, "You've got a lot of questions on turian. There were footages from security cameras. We saw how he erased the evidences from consoles and archives. Also, we saw how he triggered the fire alarm. Both of these things were considered to be violation against the principles of C-Sec officer and because of that, I couldn't let him work for C-Sec anymore even he was fine officer. Normally I would put officer to jail as in your case, but Dartus was serving C-Sec for 20 years so I turned a blind eye over this case and just fired him." Bailey explained, Lantar couldn't believe what he heard, "You're kidding! So you just fired him? Where is he now?!" Lantar asked, "Dartus wasn't concrete where he was going, but he said he was going on expedition to Earth. If he wouldn't succeed, he said something about Illium so if I were you, I'd start looking there because it's been week since he went to Earth." Bailey said and Lantar got on his feet, "Alright… thanks for your time, Bailey…" Lantar was about to turn away when Bailey stopped, "I don't know what is between you two, but Dartus predicted you would be looking for him," Bailey said, putting a credit chit to the table, "He left you this, probably expected you didn't have credits." Lantar took the credit chit, "Thanks, Bailey." Lantar said but Bailey returned to his paperwork, "Don't thank me. Just go and let me do my work. You two have obviously a lot to talk about…" he said and Lantar left his office with slight smile, " _He really wants to see me. I'm coming for you, Dartus._ " Lantar thought. He didn't hesitate and backtracked the way he came and hurried back to the docking bay. He took the first ship leaving towards Illium, not wasting time with getting food or anything. He settled down in the ship and left the Citadel as quickly as he arrived at it.

Meanwhile back on Earth, Garrus Vakarian was sitting in his armchair, his house was awfully silent. Nothing but sound of TV spread across his living room. There was nothing to watch in TV. Garrus tried each channel he could get but nothing was entertaining him. Garrus was feeling so bitter and shit and angry. He wished there was some liquor he could drink and forget. He didn't care that celebrations of the New year were coming by the midnight, he just wished to drink himself unconscious. He knew he couldn't because he and Lantar drank all of his supply yesterday. He missed his voice, his footsteps coming down the stairs. Lantar was gone and Garrus was so gloomy, realizing what mistake he did, " _He didn't do anything to hurt me. He was just… trying to help me. He knew what I needed like Jane knew. He was right. I should move on and find somebody, but Lantar doesn't deserve somebody like me. He deserves better…_ " Garrus closed his eyes, " _It is too late to make things right… or not? Jane, Ripper, Sensat, Erash… others? Is it too late?_ " Garrus thought, when he suddenly opened his eyes, " _No, it's not late. It's never too late. I must find Lantar and apologize to him!_ " Garrus switched his TV off and went upstairs in his room. He opened hidden mobile FTL communication center, switching it on "Please select specific inquiry." The computer said, "Set up communication link to the Shadow Broker, Liara T'Soni." Garrus required, "Shadow Broker Liara T'Soni blocks all non-secured channel communications and is requesting code name in order to pass the security firewall." The computer said, "Code name is Archangel." Garrus said, "Permission granted. Setting video-com now." The computer said and Liara appeared on the monitor, "Hello, Garrus! How are you getting ready for celebrations of the New year on Earth?" Liara asked, smiling but Garrus didn't smile, "I don't have celebrations in plan this year. I need your help, Liara." Garrus said and Liara's expression went serious, "You look like you've lost something important. What do you need?" Liara asked, "I've lost something important, or better said somebody. Liara, can you give me intel on location of Lantar Sidonis?" Garrus said and Liara searched through data in her other console, "Well, according to the newest information he was on the Citadel. He visited C-Sec academy, but according to my agents he was there only half an hour, then they spotted him leaving back to docking bay. Is that everything you needed to know?" Liara asked, "If he left the Citadel, it doesn't have any meaning to go there…" Garrus muttered, "I would suggest you to go and ask Bailey what he wanted. It might help you in your investigation." Liara suggested but Garrus didn't seem to answer, "Is there anything I should know? Why do you look for him anyway?" she asked, "Uh… it's nothing serious." Garrus said, looking elsewhere, "Why didn't you just send him message through console?" Liara asked him, sensing something wasn't right, " _Because he would delete the message instantly…_ " Garrus thought, looking back at the monitor, "Just keep me updated while I try to get on the Citadel, ok?" Garrus asked and Liara nodded.

He disrupted his communication with her and sent command to start a new one, "Please select specific inquiry." The computer said again, "Patch me to SSV Normandy, more specifically to its flight lieutenant Jeff Moreau alias Joker." Garrus said and Joker appeared on the screen, "Hey, Garrus!" Joker smiled, "Joker? You wish to fly again?" Garrus asked with smile on his face, "Yeah, sure, but maybe next week! Today I wish to drunk myself to unconsciousness!" he laughed and Garrus switched the communication link off, " _I should have known he wouldn't help me… alright, Garrus, it looks like you're on your own._ " He thought and made sure he was ready to leave. Garrus was hoping for Joker to give him lift because Normandy was swift in interstellar travel which he would really appreciate. Now Garrus had to take his own ship. He couldn't complain, it was also fast but not as much as Normandy. Garrus was already on his way to the astro-port of the Alliance base.

After an hour, Garrus got on board of his ship. Starting the engines, suited in his uniform, Garrus set off towards Mass relay that was going to provide him jump directly in Serpent nebula. In the meantime, Lantar escaped the ship on Illium, more precisely at Nos-astra port, " _So, this is Illium. Now where do I find Dartus?_ " Lantar thought and continued through alleys and business sections. Illium was place of intergalactic business like Noveria but as safe as it appeared, you could sign wrong contract and work as a slave forever. Luckily, Lantar's interest didn't belong to doing business. He didn't have much credits but hoped that Dartus was close so he just passed by the market vendors and avoided any attempt of getting himself fucked by the marketing, " _Eternity. That is a bar, I think. Perhaps Dartus is there?_ " Lantar looked over the big plaza and took a straight walk towards the stairs leading inside the bar. Door to the bar opened, Lantar saw it had nice view to Illium's panorama. He looked around, but nobody looked like Dartus. Lantar was becoming desperate, " _Where is he? He could be anywhere on Illium!_ " he asked himself. He sighed sadly and went over to the bar. The asari matriarch who was serving drinks immediately read Lantar's face, sensing he was in despair, "Hey, kiddo. You look down. Wanna drink?" she asked, Lantar looked at her, "Yeah, but I don't have much creds." He said and the asari served three glasses of liquor, "First three are on the house, then you've gotta pay. Enjoy your drink!" she gave him a little smile, "Thanks…" Lantar said and started drinking. Drinking and thinking. He could feel being so close to Dartus and yet so far. If only Dartus was there next to him so Lantar could speak with him. He wished to come to his place and take him. But this time he didn't only want to blow off steam. He wished to grasp him firmly around his belt and nuzzle against that skin of his.

Suddenly, someone came behind Lantar without him knowing it, "Mind if I take seat next to you, young man?" he asked with his deep voice, Lantar just stared at his drink, "Sure… but don't think I am crazy or mean when I'm not gonna talk to you." Lantar said with some annoyance in his voice, "I didn't expect you to talk to me right away, kid…" the man said and Lantar realized the way he said it, it was Dartus! "Dartus?!" Lantar said, looking behind and watched how the older stood next to him. He didn't hesitate and jumped at Dartus' belt, hugging him, "Ow! Slow on me!" Dartus said with chuckle in his voice, pushing Lantar gently off of him. He and Lantar sat down to chair, "Where have you been? I've been looking for you everywhere in London! Nobody said anything about you." Dartus reproached but smiled at Lantar, "There… there were many things, Dartus. I arrived at London, trying to find job, place to live, but I couldn't find anything and ended up on street!" Lantar said and Dartus ordered a drink for himself, "Oh? You look quite well for that! Tell me what happened?" Dartus said and grasped the glass, looking at Lantar, "I was having fever, my clothing wasn't enough and Garrus found me, took me into his house and gave me the best treatment he could afford. He bought these clothes, we spent Christmas together, damn good Christmas." Lantar explained. Dartus felt need to know what happened that he left, "But now you are here. Why? What happened between you and Garrus?" he asked, "Everything was so good. We were friends again, he forgave me. But then… I had serious talk with him that resulted with some fractures for me and I had to leave." Lantar said, Dartus placed one arm around Lantar's back, "You pushed too hard, right?" he asked Lantar, "Dartus, he was trapped! He didn't wish to accept fact that Jane Shepard was dead but I tried to talk some sense to him. When I said that I loved him, I ended up on the ground with fractured plates and bleeding in mouth as he pointed his gun at me…" Lantar said, staring at his drink. Dartus seemed to notice the pain that Lantar felt after being rejected. He gently grabbed Lantar's chin, turning his face to his own, "You don't need Garrus for your life, Lantar. If he was able to do this to you after everything you suffered for him, you don't need him." Dartus said soothingly, smiling at him and patting his back, "I've tried to track you down. I visited Citadel. Bailey said he fired you for what you did to me. I can't believe you did that! Throwing away 20 years of your career just because of me…" Lantar said, looking at his drink again, "I'd do it for you again, kid. Besides, local law reinforcement pays better than C-Sec did." Dartus explained and Lantar could feel his blood starting to boil, making him blush, "Dartus…?" Lantar said, looking at the other turian again. Dartus looked at him as well, expecting question, "Why don't you just say it…?" he asked and Dartus smiled, "It would sound pervert from mid-aged turian. I need you to say that." Dartus winked and Lantar sighed, ready to confess his affection towards Dartus. The bartender matriarch noticed it and stood at them, "Don't want to interrupt your conversation, but I know where this leads. Find your own place for it." She smiled and Lantar looked back at Dartus. He just moved his head the way he was showing him to follow.


	10. So close and yet so far

Garrus Vakarian arrived at the Citadel and followed steps of Lantar Sidonis to the C-Sec academy. He was rerouted to Bailey by Alice since Lantar spoke to him so Garrus listened to her and headed for the elevator that would take him to Bailey's office. Bailey was already preparing himself to leave the office because Earth time of midnight was approaching and he wished to be at his apartment to celebrate with some of his friends. Bailey was walking towards the elevator when suddenly Garrus appeared in it, "Garrus?" Bailey was surprised, "Hi, Bailey. Have you got a minute?" Garrus asked, "Actually, I was just about to leave so I could make it to New year's celebrations so if you don't mind I'd like to go now!" Bailey tried to walk around Garrus but the turian didn't let himself be tossed away like that. He grabbed Bailey by his shirt, "Hold on, Bailey… you've got fifteen minutes to midnight and I think you don't have problems with running." Garrus said, pushing Bailey back, "Alright, alright… I don't want to tempt your patience, Garrus but I don't have much time so please, be quick!" Bailey said, "Lantar Sidonis. My information broker told me he was here. I know he worked for C-Sec so it's obvious you have to know something." Garrus said calmly and Bailey took a deep breath, "Lantar was here but not for himself. He was looking for his former colleague who cleaned his file." Bailey explained, "Interesting… tell me about this colleague of his." Garrus said. It almost sounded like he was jealous, "Name's Dartus Raidat. Turian, 50 years old veteran. Fought in the First contact war, lost his wife there. He worked at C-Sec for 20 years but I had to fire him." Bailey explained and Garrus crossed his arms, "20 years and you had to fire him? What did he do?" Garrus asked, "Falsified classification of Sidonis' criminal record. Also caused false fire alarm. I just couldn't let him work here with those violations against regulations." Bailey said, "Why would he do those silly things?" Garrus asked more, "Hey, I am not expert for personal relations, but I think that Dartus had soft spot for Sidonis. If you find Dartus, you'll find Sidonis." Bailey explained and Garrus rubbed his faceplates, "Alright, didn't Dartus say where he's going?" Garrus asked, "Illium. He left some credits for Sidonis too so he could get ship there. Can I go now?" Bailey asked and Garrus gestured him towards the elevator, "Happy new year, Bailey…" Garrus said but Bailey was already gone. Garrus suddenly felt a wave of aggression rushing through his body. He needed to punch something so he hit the wall with his fist, "Fuck! Why is it always so complicated?! Oh well… shape up, Vakarian, you brought this on yourself. It's your fault Lantar is still keeping his distance from you. Good job beating him down and threatening him with gun by the way…" Garrus talked to himself. His omni-tool flickered and Garrus activated it, seeing Liara appearing on hologram, "What's new?" he asked, "Sidonis is on Illium now. He has been seen with former C-Sec officer named Dartus Raidat." Liara said, "Hmm, I know that twice now, thanks Liara!" he smiled, "You mean you knew?" Liara asked him, "Yeah. Bailey just told me, but it's not enough and I'd like to know more." Garrus said, "I'm Shadow Broker. Just tell me what you need and I'll find it!" she smiled, "Give me permanent address of Dartus Raidat on Illium. I'm gonna head there right now." Garrus said and Liara forwarded the information to Garrus' omni-tool. Garrus was leaving C-Sec and headed for docking bay to leave the Citadel and head for Illium.

In the meantime, on Illium. two turians sat on bed next to each other. The older one, Dartus Raidat was providing special treatment to Lantar Sidonis. Lantar's mandibles were fractured from Garrus' punches and most of the moves he did with them hurt him badly. Smiling, talking, laughing, any of these were painful but each one in different scale. Talking was the least painful one. Lantar stared at Dartus' face, into his dark red eyes. People who wouldn't know Dartus would say he was personification of evil according to his look, but he was loving turian longing for somebody who would love him as well. Dartus was very thorough and careful about bandaging Lantar's plates so he didn't feel much pain, "There you go. It's not who knows how sexy but it could be fine in few days." Dartus said, smile in his voice. Lantar just stared at him as they both smiled at each other, "I didn't feel anything. Where did you learn to do this?" Lantar asked him, "Basic C-Sec training but also local law reinforcement with asari taught me few tricks. See? Even this old turian can learn new tricks!" Dartus said with amusement in his voice and Lantar chuckled. They stared out of the window at the star disappearing between towers, "You did a lot for me, Dartus. More than I could ask for. I don't even want to know how many credits you had to spend on me." Lantar shook his head, smile behind those words, "Definitely it was more than 40.000 credits when you think of those credit chits." Dartus said when Lantar couldn't help himself but laughed. He stopped laughing once he felt talon of the other turian holding his own. Lantar looked at it, then at Dartus who was smiling at him, "But it was worth it." Dartus added. There Lantar came with his blushing again, he didn't tell Dartus the words he wanted to hear, "I'm still waiting." He said and Lantar leaned against Dartus' shoulder, "Alright, alright! I love you! Are you happy? Is this what you wanted to hear?" Lantar said, amused. Dartus rested his talon around Lantar's belt, pulling him closer for cuddles, "Well, did it hurt to say that?" Dartus smiled and Lantar had mixed feelings. He wished to punch Dartus for saying that sentence but at the same time he didn't want to hurt him, "Ugh! You're such a pedant! Can't you just see that I love you without those words? I swear I'll-" Lantar wanted to say he would punch him but his mouth was blocked with Dartus' mouth. Lantar stopped talking and let Dartus to explore his mouth with tongue. He didn't feel the actual kissing before. Dartus was damn good at it. He didn't want to stop the kissing. Even when Lantar needed to take a breath, he couldn't because Dartus insisted on long, deep kissing. Every time there was an option and Dartus let Lantar breathe, Lantar inhaled fresh air in. Dartus liked the way Lantar was defenseless. It turned him on so much to hear the breathing as Lantar needed it. But Dartus wasn't sadist. He knew that Lantar needed to breathe. He smiled at his breathing. Lantar liked this as well. This was the foreplay to something bigger. His mandibles hurt so bad as they were fractured, but he sensed he was going to enjoy this so good. Usually when Lantar wished to have him fucked by somebody, he just came and asked for it. This time it was different. Dartus wanted his young turian to be aroused enough for the real action. He pushed Lantar with his heavy body down to the bed, still locked within kisses, "Oh spirits… take me… I'm all yours!" Lantar said, "Please… don't talk anymore. I want to hear something else from you…" Dartus whispered and proceeded to kissing Lantar on his neck. As a turian, he bit him and Lantar cried out as he did that.

Enough of the foreplay. Dartus got on his knees, pulling up his shirt. Lantar lying on the bed did the same. Lantar and Dartus went back to kissing while they assisted each other in pulling their pants down, "B-Bite me again…!" Lantar said in between breathing and Dartus fulfilled his wish. He bit Lantar in the neck again, making him cry out once more. He bit him stronger, but just because he knew that Lantar wished to feel it. Their pants were down, shoes as well and they were only in their underwear. They were naked, ready to proceed for the real action. Lantar spread his legs for Dartus, but the older turian took them, resting Lantar's legs on his shoulders. Lantar stared at his lover above him, gasping for breath still from the foreplay but he forgot how Dartus could be rough. Dartus thrusted his cock deeply inside Lantar before he could get another breath. He was overwhelmed with pain but at the same time felt how badly he wished this. They weren't in C-Sec office anymore so he didn't need to hide his pleasure from Dartus pounding him. Dartus was making sure that Lantar was going to scream. He thrusted so roughly in some moments that Lantar rather wished he didn't let Dartus take him so easily, "Oh! F-F-Fuck!" Lantar exclaimed as the friction in the bottom parts of his body was causing him to sweat while not screaming of pain. Dartus loved this struggle to scream. It only motivated him to pound Lantar harder, deeper. He grounded Lantar's abdomen to make sure he wouldn't flinch. Lantar was in paradise. The way Dartus pounded gave him strange satisfaction, making him to release all constrictors in his body. He lubricated Dartus' cock, making it easier for him to thrust. Dartus saw how relaxed Lantar looked. He bent down to him, kissing him again and Lantar made sure he wrapped arms around his neck. He felt his instincts, there was no way to stop this. Lantar used the chance and bit Dartus strongly at his neck, "Ah!" Dartus exclaimed silently. He wanted to go back but Lantar held him tightly. It hurt him at first, but then Dartus smirked, "Alright… if you wish hell, you'll get it!" he growled and pounded Lantar the way he was pushed. Lantar had to release his grip of hands around on Dartus' back and clench his talons deeply inside the bed mattress. He had to breathe again because Dartus was making his ass explode. He released his bite, breathing loudly in between moaning. Dartus used this moment for his own enjoyment and bit Lantar on the other side of neck, repaying him the bite. Lantar was literally screaming, of pain, of pleasure, all at once. It was miracle that law reinforcement didn't hear it because if they did, they would definitely think somebody was murdering Lantar. The pleasure was too high, Lantar couldn't handle it and reached the climax hands free way. Only thanks to Dartus and his rough humping, he was aroused to the point he sprayed his juice all over his own chest and because Dartus was hooked with his teeth in Lantar's neck, he got sprayed too, "Oh shit… Dartus!" Lantar gasped while climaxing. He let Lantar's neck be, raising on knees, "Oh, someone's messy!" He said, hitting Lantar's sensitive spot hard but slowed down, inhaling and exhaling in significant way, feeling his own climax reaching to him. Dartus couldn't resist anymore. After few more thrusts, he filled Lantar's intestines, "Hnn- Lantar!" and moaned loud Lantar's name. The older turian let Lantar's legs to rest on bed. He pulled out his manhood, both of them were looking at each other, gasping for air.

Dartus lied on the bed, head supported with pillow. Lantar gathered some forces and crawled next to Dartus. He buried his head under his shoulder and placed one talon on his chest. Dartus looked out of the window while he placed his talon on Lantar's hip, rubbing it gently, "I missed you, Dartus. I really did." Lantar said, purring happily, "I missed you too, kid. It's good to have you here." He said quietly while rubbing Lantar's skin, "Do you think I could join the law reinforcement here?" Lantar asked and Dartus looked at him, smiling, "Why? You want to cover my ass?" he chuckled slightly, "Yeah. I need job and the best one is when I can be with you." Lantar said and Dartus laughed, "I don't need my ass covered. But you know what? I'm rooting for you. I'll watch your ass because we both know it's mine." He said and Lantar closed his eyes, nuzzling against Dartus' skin, "Lantar?" Dartus asked, "Hmm…?" Lantar left, tired, wished to sleep, "Happy birthday, my boy." Dartus said and Lantar smiled, without any other words he was slowly falling asleep. It was already January 1, 2189 and Lantar was 24 by now. It was his birthday and Dartus didn't forget about it. Lantar didn't even know how could Dartus know, but it didn't matter. He already received the best present for his birthday – Dartus himself.

Garrus arrived at Illium with his ship. Lantar and Dartus were sleeping together for two hours and Garrus had Lantar's precise location thanks to address of Dartus on Illium. He was close to reaching Lantar. Obviously he really regretted what he had done because Garrus was able to lay down his plans on celebrations of the New year on Earth. No matter what Lantar's reaction would be. He needed Lantar to hear him out. Garrus arrived at the residential district and stopped by one door on the address, " _This should be it. Alright, Garrus… you've come all the way here, now is your chance to make things right…_ " Garrus thought, taking deep breath, ringing the doorbell. One minute passed, two minutes, three minutes, " _They don't seem to be home. Did Liara give me even the right address? Perhaps they already moved away…_ " Garrus thought. He turned around as it appeared that Lantar wasn't in there. Garrus was disappointed. He hoped to see Lantar and apologize for what he had done. Apparently this was signal that he should give up.

Suddenly, the door opened and Garrus stopped his walk, looking back. Dartus appeared in the door, dressed up in civil clothing. He and Garrus locked their gazes at each other. Long minute of silence passed between them until one of them decided to break it, "Dartus Raidat, I presume?" Garrus started. Dartus gave him serious look, "Garrus Vakarian. I didn't expect turian hero to come to Illium. Guessing you are not here to give autographs." Dartus said, crossing his arms and leaning against the door frame, "So what can I do for you?" he asked, "I'm here because my information broker gave me your address. I'm looking for Lantar Sidonis. I need to see him." Garrus said, Dartus seemed to be slightly annoyed, "I don't want to disappoint you, but that isn't possible." Dartus explained and Garrus crossed his arms as well, "Why? Where is he?" Garrus asked, "Lantar is sleeping just few rooms behind these doors with bandaged mandibles. You know, with those fractures you caused him." Dartus explained, pointing at his door behind him. Garrus felt anger building within him, "I need to talk to him! I want to make things right for once, goddamn it!" Garrus growled, "Well, you maybe wish so, but Lantar might not want to see you. You expressed enough by hurting him and threatening him with gun." Dartus said and Garrus charged against him, pinning him to the wall, "Who the hell you think you are?! You can't just make decisions for him!" he growled. Suddenly he got kicked away from Dartus. Before Garrus found himself walking backwards, Dartus pushed Garrus to the ground and grounded him, "I love Lantar, ok?! I want the best for him! He was trying so hard to impress you by redeeming his sins and you just beat him up because he expressed his feelings towards you! He didn't deserve that!" Dartus hissed at Garrus' face. Garrus wished to attack Dartus, but he sensed Dartus was right and took a deep breath, "Yeah… I screwed up, I know that twice now. I just want to let him know I regret, that I know how he felt before when I was obsessed with revenge…" Garrus said peacefully. Dartus got on his feet, offering Garrus his hand to help him stand up. Garrus got on his feet with help of his, "I am man of my word, Garrus. I understand your intentions. However, that kid was broken when I found him here at the bar. I gave him some consolation and he is smiling again. That is how it should stay…" Dartus explained, Garrus didn't answer, feeling his guilt again, "We can work this out peacefully. I'll arrange meeting with all three of us so you two can talk together but don't expect it would work, Garrus. If I see that Lantar feels offended by you, we'll leave. Are you in?" Dartus asked and Garrus nodded at him.

Dartus and Garrus parted their ways. Dartus returned to his apartment few feet behind him. He went back to Lantar, undressed himself and lied down beside him, pulling him closer and falling asleep again. Seeing Lantar's sleeping face brought Dartus euphoria. Hormones of happiness flooded all his body knowing he achieved Lantar's heart. Garrus knew that Dartus was going to let him know about the meeting time and place through his omni-tool. In the meantime, Garrus had two options. He could sleep either at some hotel on Illium or go back to the docking bay and sleep on his ship. He didn't want to waste credits so he rather stayed on his ship. It was cheaper, smaller and most important, it was his ship. Even that Garrus was offered the option of meeting with Lantar, he knew it wouldn't be nice meeting. There would be a lot of hard feelings and Lantar wouldn't be easy to talk with, not after what Garrus did to him.


	11. Hoping for forgiveness

Another day when Lantar and Dartus woke up in their bed, they dressed up and Lantar helped his loved one to make something to eat. During their breakfast, Lantar was introduced to Dartus' plan of the day. First, they were going to the local law reinforcement where Lantar would apply himself and Dartus would be there to vouch for him. Then they would go and meet Garrus at the meeting place. Of course, Dartus didn't mention anything about anything about Garrus at all. After their breakfast, they decided to follow their plan and so headed first to the Local Law Reinforcement headquarters. Once there, they went in Personnel Department for Lantar to set his application for officer. Some procedures had to be made like basic information including name, date of birth, planet and city of origin, education, occupation before and so on. There was also additional information about detailed description like blood group, interests and sexuality. When it came to sexuality, Lantar became so red in face that he was glad he didn't start sweating. Dartus saved him and plainly said "He's mine. That should be enough." Once answering all the questions in Lantar's file, there was practical part needed. He was taken down to the training field with moving targets where the asari administrator had to write down expert opinion about how skillful Lantar was with gun. His score wasn't bad. He destroyed 8 out of 10 targets. They returned to the paperwork again once the practical part was done. If Lantar wasn't with Dartus, he would need another certificates and reports like recommendation from psychiatrist about qualification to do the service or report of health state. Thanks to Dartus and the fact that Lantar worked for C-Sec, they were ok to skip this step and simply accept Lantar between them.

In the meantime, Garrus Vakarian was on his ship. He polished his guns and sorted them by their severity, power and size, " _There, nice and clean. You bad boys should be ready before my shore leave ends!_ " Garrus thought, smiling down at his guns as if they were his kids. Well, they brought him luck so far, especially his sniper rifle. Yes, that sniper rifle Garrus wanted to use against Lantar to take his revenge. He looked at it and placed talon on it, tracing it from its barrel to the handle, "We've came through a lot together, didn't we? If you could speak, what would you tell me that time in Zakera ward? More important is, what would you tell me now?" Garrus sighed, "Lantar had birthday. He is… 24? Damn, five years since we met and it almost seems like we met just yesterday. He doesn't look older, but definitely changed inside." He said and his omni-tool was flashing with incoming message. Garrus activated it.

 _We'll be at 'Golden pit' with Lantar at 4 PM. Be ready to use the right words.  
By the way, I didn't tell him anything about you coming._

 _Dartus_

Garrus read the message, his heart was racing, "What is that…?" Garrus asked, holding his armor plate where the heart was, " _Am I… nervous? Damn, I barely feel nervous! Last time I was this nervous it was when I had my final exam at school… why am I so nervous? I fought Saren, Collectors, Reapers… am I really afraid of failure? The fact that Lantar will turn his back on me? Is that it? But Garrus… it was you who caused all this. Yes… I caused it and I am afraid of the consequences._ " He thought. Garrus walked to the airlock and opened it. But when he wanted to go through it, he looked back at his guns. Something was on his mind.

4 PM. Lantar and Dartus sat together by the table. Dartus ordered table for three because he knew Garrus was gonna come, but Lantar was suspicious and found it rather funny. As if some ghost would be there sitting with them. Well, it was going to be big surprise for Lantar, "Can't believe you decided to spend another credits on me in one of the most expansive restaurants on Illium. Why?" Lantar asked the other turian sitting next to him, "Well for many things of course. Yesterday was your birthday, you came relatively healthy and alive to me, today you became member of the police and shortly, why the hell not, right?" Dartus smiled at Lantar who smiled back. Lantar looked down to his glass of liquor, "Right… but somehow I get the feeling you're not telling me something. Why did you order table for three people? Who's coming?" Lantar smiled at Dartus, trying to be nice even he sensed mischief behind this, "Hey, once we'll eat, my ass will need a second chair at some point!" Dartus laughed but Lantar's face didn't change. He didn't laugh to Dartus' joke, his smile was still the same but it made it look rather piercing through Dartus' eyes. It looked like Lantar said ' _Don't try to fuck with me in every possible way and tell me what's happening._ ' When Dartus realized that Lantar was getting tired of hiding the truth, he stopped smiling and leaned closer to Lantar, "Look, kid… I need you to promise me something." Dartus said, "What is it?" Lantar asked, taking a sip of his liquor, "We're gonna meet somebody here and… it would be good if you stayed calm and let everything go well." Dartus said, placing talon on Lantar's thigh. Lantar smiled at him, "Alright, Dartus. I'll do it for y-" Lantar spotted Garrus standing at the other entrance in his formal wear. Garrus was approaching them and Lantar gave Dartus annoyed look, "When did he come to you…" Lantar asked with poison in his voice, "Yesterday. He was looking for you and I promised to organize meeting. Lantar, kid, give him a chance…" Dartus said and Lantar sensed he had no other choice than listen to him.

It was Dartus so why wouldn't he do it for him? Lantar looked at his glass and Garrus stood by the chair, "Good afternoon to both of you. May I uh… have a seat?" Garrus asked. Dartus nodded with smile but Lantar drank all glass at one go and smacked it against the table. Dartus and Garrus looked at Lantar as if he had to decide it, "Yeah… I don't have my gun anyway so you can stay calm…" Lantar said, the poison in his voice was significant and Dartus gulped. Garrus carefully took the seat between Lantar and Dartus as they sat by the round table. None of them seemed to know how to start the conversation. Lantar didn't want to talk to Garrus, Dartus wanted to stay optimistic, but Lantar's behavior was concerning him so he was still concentrating on him and Garrus… he was glad Lantar didn't tear his frills apart once he appeared. Finally, Dartus decided to speak, "So, Garrus, Lantar was accepted in local law reinforcement as an officer. We're working together now!" Dartus said, "Yeah? That's great news! It's good that you're still after injustice, Lantar. Illium isn't that safe as many people think!" Garrus said, smiling but Lantar kept staring at his drink as he poured another glass of liquor, "Somebody had to. I guess that is something you taught me on Omega, Archangel." Lantar said, the poison in his voice was getting stronger and he drank another glass at one go. Garrus gulped like Dartus did, "Dartus told me how you and him found each other… I am happy for you, Lantar." Garrus said but Lantar seemed that his words only hurt him. The glass was crushed under Lantar's grip and it shattered into many pieces. People around in the restaurant luckily didn't notice anything, but the atmosphere was really tense and both, Dartus and Garrus could feel it. Garrus pulled his collar on neck to get some cold air under his clothing as he was getting hot due to the nerves, "Now you're happy for me, Garrus. You think that one night with Dartus would erase what you did to me?! My face still hurts and my stomach hurts as well. When I sold our ten friends to the Blood Pack you had option to get over it and forget about me. You had two fucking years! You grew grudge towards me instead and longed for vengeance. You want me to get over something you did to me two days ago?!" Lantar gazed at Garrus with hatred in his eyes, "I didn't expect you to deal with that so easily, Lantar. I knew what I did was wrong, and I realized that right after you left. I didn't expect talking to you would be easy at all. Not after what I did… I was nervous before coming here." Garrus explained, "Yeah… I don't know what to think anymore, you know?! First, you wanted to shoot me, then you let me go, then you found me and treated me like a friend, a best friend! You already forgave me! But when I confessed myself to you, you almost had to break my jaw! Now you come to apologize! Why, Garrus?! Why don't you just settle with some opinion?! Do you want me in your life or not?! Why did you pretend to care when you only threw me away like that?! Why?!" Lantar said, getting upset. Garrus was wordless for a while. Dartus was slowly standing from his chair, ready to leave with Lantar. But Garrus grabbed Dartus' talon, shaking his head. Garrus looked back at Lantar, "I cared, Lantar, honestly. But you don't deserve me, because you deserve better." Garrus said, looking at Dartus who smiled at him. Lantar wasn't capable of reaction. He just stared at Garrus, "You may love me, but you can see we are pretty different guys. When you talked to me about Jane, you were right. I need to move on. But I cannot love you, Lantar. It's just not possible for me. Even if I tried, you wouldn't be entirely happy with me. Yeah, I guess I should have told it to you this way instead. Attacking you, nearly breaking your mouth, threatening you with gun and repelling you from my house when I already did my best to get you from fever, it wasn't the best idea and I regret it." Garrus said and Dartus sat down, sensing that Garrus picked the right words, "Your presence hurts me, Garrus. It only gives me hope that something could be possible. It's that dangerous hope that brings great disappointment when failure occurs…" Lantar said, closing his eyes. After he opened them, he saw Garrus' talon reached out, "Let's not dwell on past anymore, Lantar. We can stay friends so the memory on our friends lost on Omega never dies." Garrus smiled at Lantar. The youngest turian sighed, feeling a great weight falling off. He smiled back and grabbed Garrus' talon, shaking it, "I'll have your word." Lantar said and Dartus felt better as well, "Alright, boys! Enough of this emotional shit! I'm starving!" Dartus remarked, "Yeah, right, we should order something finally!" Lantar added with smile, "Not so fast." Garrus said, bending down, "Garrus? What are you doing?" Lantar asked and Garrus pulled out something long covered with wrapping paper, putting it on table, "I know you had birthday yesterday, Lantar so I thought it would be shame if I didn't use the opportunity to give you something when we finally put our past behind us." Lantar used his talon and tore a piece of the paper to see what was inside, "Hell no! You've gotta be kidding me! For me?!" Lantar said, "What's inside, kid?" Dartus asked curious himself, "I think you deserved her. She remembers everything. Saren, Collectors, Reapers, even you." Garrus smiled, "Dartus, he gives me his sniper rifle!" Lantar said, putting the wrapped rifle down so he wouldn't alert the whole restaurant, "Well, Garrus, didn't expect that from you." Dartus said, "Well, neither did I, honestly. I was cleaning them and when I was about to leave, it was like she spoke to me. Call me crazy, but I sensed it was time to let her go the same way I let Jane go." Garrus said and after that all three of them ordered something to eat. Rest of the afternoon was peaceful. No hard feelings occurred, Garrus and Lantar were finally dealt with past and Dartus was also glad to know Garrus was reasonable and knew how to talk to Lantar.

After the dinner, Garrus split himself from Lantar and Dartus who disappeared inside Dartus' apartment. Garrus' duty was done here. He made things right, gave Lantar one of his best guns and was ready to go home on Earth and get some rest before his duty as a soldier started again. He got into his ship and was about to start up the engines, when his omni-tool flickered again, " _Hmm? Who could that be?_ " Garrus thought, checking the incoming message:

 _Come and meet me in the view tower on Nos-astra port if you didn't leave Illium yet._

 _LS_

Garrus stared at the message, thinking what Lantar could have in plan. Should he be worried? Does Dartus know about it? Garrus decided to listen to Lantar. It couldn't be dangerous since there were other people in the view tower. Garrus left the docking bay and called cab to take him to Nos-astra view tower. Once there, he took an elevator to the top floor, expecting Lantar would be there. On the top floor, there weren't many people, but the view was marvelous just looking from the elevator outside. Majority of the tower globe was made of glass, only the floor was metallic. Garrus looked around to find Lantar between the people around. He spotted the young turian observing Illium near the glass wall of the globe. He walked behind Lantar, not touching him as his eyes were locked to the view, "I'm here. What do you need?" Garrus asked and Lantar continued with observing Illium, "After the dinner, I and Dartus discussed some things." Lantar said calmly, "Like what?" Garrus asked and Lantar turned to face Garrus, "Dartus has kids on Palaven… well, actually they are around the same age as you but you know what I mean. The matter is, he had to leave them with his wife when he enlisted in the First contact war. His wife died and he was alone for the kids. Dartus didn't want to explain those little ones that their mom died. He didn't have the courage so he left them to authorities." Lantar explained, "That's… kinda mean towards the kids." Garrus crossed his arms, "Yeah but I understand that. What I wanted to do was to take Dartus on Palaven so he could see them." Lantar explained, "Hmm, then buy tickets to Palaven. I don't see why you need me here." Garrus said, "One thing is that you have ship already, but that's not the main reason." Lantar said and Garrus frowned, "Solana contacted me and you have shore leave one more week. I thought you could use this opportunity to visit your mother." Lantar explained. Garrus sighed and went closer to the window, "I don't know if she can even recognize me. With the tumors… she may have damaged memory." Garrus said, "But Solana will be there… you can be sure she will remind her." Lantar assured him, "Maybe… Alright, I guess it's time for me to pay her a visit. It won't be easy for me to see mom, though. I hope it's not only me and Dartus who's having unfinished business back on Palaven." Garrus said and looked at Lantar, as if he expected he had also somebody to visit, "Uh… yeah… I think… we can see my parents too." Lantar said, pushing the words hardly out of himself, "I'll let you know when we're ready tomorrow, ok?" Lantar asked and Garrus nodded.

Garrus went back to the docking bay of Nos-astra and changed his plans. Instead of heating up engines of his ship he decided to use his personal cabin to sleep over one more night. Lantar arrived back to apartment he shared with Dartus. Dartus was curious once Lantar closed the door behind himself, "What did he say?" Dartus asked, "He agreed. We'll get ready tomorrow and head for Palaven." Lantar plainly answered. Dartus was sitting at his console when Lantar lied down on the bed, "You're tired, kid, aren't you?" Dartus asked, looking at Lantar, "Got unused to all the stuff that's needed to be done when you apply somewhere." Lantar said and Dartus switched on TV, "I was picking some movie for us to watch. Think you're good with it or we're gonna sleep right away?" Dartus asked, "Well, when you offer a movie…" Lantar chuckled and Dartus joined him in bed soon. They ended their day with watching a movie and falling asleep afterwards.


	12. Unifnished business

The next day, Garrus received message from Lantar that he and Dartus were ready for departure from Illium. Garrus went to give them escort because none of them knew what ship belonged to Garrus. Lantar and Dartus didn't take anything with them. They had only their omni-tools with some credits in case they would have to buy something. Together with Garrus they arrived on board of his ship. Garrus took seat as a pilot and Dartus with Lantar found some seats in the back side of the deck. Soon the group of three turians left the atmosphere of Illium and headed for Palaven, the home world of turians.

"I don't know what to think, kid. They haven't seen me since they were three years old." Dartus said, twiddling his thumbs. Lantar placed his talon on Dartus' shoulder, "Dartus, you never know. What if they were asking for you? They maybe wish to see you after all those years." Lantar asked, "But if they asked for me, why didn't they try to contact me? I can understand they don't have much credits to spare for ticket but they could find contact on me." Dartus said and Lantar knew this could be hard to answer, "Maybe they just don't have time. They are 34 so possibly they need to care about their families." Lantar explained, Dartus nodded as it could be one possibility, "You didn't tell me much about them." Lantar said, "There isn't much that I could tell about them. I had one daughter and one son. Daughter's name was Pekma, boy was Sirtax. Both of them inherited majority of my appearance. Both of them have red eyes so I guess they will look almost the same as me, especially the boy." Dartus explained and Lantar nodded to him, "Never heard about your family either. What are they like?" Dartus asked Lantar who tried to find a good answer, "My family… I was their only kid. Had older brother and sister, they both died when I was little so I became the only kid in our family. Dad was still somewhere so most of my time was spent with mom, nice woman. Usually turians reaching their 15 are applying for turian hierarchy military, I didn't. Thanks to the fact I was majority of my time with mom, I learned to hate conflicts, wars and so on. Other turians didn't like me because of that, called me coward, which I am basically all the time but I just try to avoid conflicts where I am no use." Lantar explained but Dartus had to smile, "Coward doesn't join the law reinforcements. If you were coward, you'd be rather happy flipping burgers somewhere, but you decided to join C-Sec and then the police on Illium." Dartus said and Lantar smiled back at him. They intertwined their talons together.

Their trip was taking three hours to get from traverse to the turian space. Palaven was on their sight and all of them could feel tension building within them. Meeting with past was not easy for anyone of them. The ship finally landed on the planet, in the capital of Palaven, Cipritine. Dartus looked at Lantar and Garrus, "Hmm… there is one problem. I've heard only that they were working in this city, but I didn't get the concrete data about their residence." Dartus said and Garrus pulled out his omni-tool, "This shouldn't be problem. I'm connected to the database of Shadow Broker. I may find the right location… there!" Garrus said and showed Dartus the address, "I know that place. It's not far from here. Come." Dartus led Lantar and Garrus through historical center of Palaven. The buildings were in contrast – modern metallic buildings met old fashioned residences made of stones. Some turians were rather comfortable with those houses than living in metallic cube. The three turians stopped at one house with the address Garrus' found, "Whose address is this, Garrus?" Dartus looked at him, "This address should belong to Sirtax Raidat." Garrus answered and Dartus took a deep breath, knocking the door. Garrus and Lantar were standing on the pavement while Dartus looked at them. The door opened and some young turian opened the door. Dartus looked down, "Eh… hello, boy. Is your dad at home?" Dartus asked, " _This must be his son…_ " he thought, "Who's asking?" the boy looked up and asked Dartus rather insolently, "I am somebody who knows your father I…" Dartus said but turian woman stepped in the door, pulling his child back, "How many times did I tell you not to open door to foreign people?!" the woman said and stepped in front of Dartus, "Are you wife of Sirtax Raidat?" Dartus asked, "Yes. Valena Raidat. What do you need from my husband?" she asked, "It's a personal matter. Is he at home? I uh… need to talk to him." Dartus explained, "Sirtax should be at home soon. Do you wish to wait for him?" Valena asked and Dartus beckoned at Garrus with Lantar to follow him, "I hope you don't mind my friends coming with me." Dartus asked and Valena shook her head. Lantar and Garrus followed Dartus inside, making comfortable, sitting in armchairs. The young turian boy went in the room to those three turians and noticed Garrus, "You… you're Garrus Vakarian!" the turian boy said and Garrus rubbed his back of head, "Man you've got to come with me! You need to see my room!" the turian boy said and pulled Garrus out of the armchair and out of the room. Lantar had to laugh, "Looks like Garrus has a fan base!".

Few minutes later, another turian entered the house. Lantar looked at him. He looked almost like Dartus, only younger. Dartus and the turian looked at each other. Lantar realized this was the right moment to let them be alone, "I'll go and help Garrus…" he said and ran out of the room. Sirtax was stunned, it was like looking in your own reflection in the mirror. He sat down to the armchair that Lantar just left, not leaving his gaze from Dartus "This can't be possible…" Sirtax started, "I wish it was impossible. But… here I am." Dartus said, "I have received some intel about you, but never thought that it could actually be true." Sirtax said, "Why did you come, dad…" he continued, avoiding his father's look, "I came to see how my children are doing after I left them." Dartus said with difficulty, hoping for his son to understand, "I am doing well, dad. Can't say the same about Pekma." Sirtax lowered his voice while talking about Pekma, "What do you mean?" he asked, "Pekma died six years ago. Some Geth invaded Palaven and it was slaughter." Sirtax stated drily. Dartus looked down to the carpet, "Oh… I didn't know. I'm sorry, Sirtax." Dartus said and Sirtax looked at him, "You don't need to be sorry, dad. You were gone. You practically didn't even know us!" Sirtax attacked him with words. Dartus felt himself hurt, "How… how can you say that, Sirtax? I was gone, yes, but I never forgot about you!" He explained, "We were fucking three years old when you left. When we grew up with Pekma and saw how other kids can be with their parents, we wondered why didn't we have parents! When we asked our tutors, they said you both died during the First contact war! I, however, didn't give up. I searched for information in military archives and saw that only our mother died, not you!" he pointed at Dartus who seemed dejected, "I did what I had to, son. Try to think as me. Try to get in my position. How do you think I would explain that your mother died? How do you want to explain that to a kid? I loved you both and I didn't want to see your faces once you would find out…" Dartus said, his voice vanishing in sadness that was building up in his voice. Sirtax seemed to be touched as well, "So… so you arrived after 31 years because you couldn't sleep or some shit… I was doing just fine, dad. You don't need to come here and bring back old memories! I know how you must feel, but 31 years without sending a fucking message… how could you do that?!" Sirtax said, not able to talk anymore as the cry was taking over him as well, "I am sorry, son. I'm so sorry! It wasn't easy for me… to come here and talk to you. I just want you to know… I still love you, my boy." Dartus said, stopping his talk and hiding his face so Sirtax couldn't see him crying. Sirtax tried to process his thoughts, then he raised from the armchair and sat to his father between his legs. Sirtax wasn't crying, he managed to push it back, but Dartus needed him. Sirtax pulled his dad closer for a hug. Dartus hugged his son back. They remained in this hug for five minutes before Dartus was feeling like he could let Sirtax go. It was time for them to separate again. Dartus, Garrus and Lantar headed back to the ship. Dartus didn't talk on the way back, but it was evident he was feeling better.

Their next stop was a small settlement near the capital. It was place where Garrus grew up and where Solana with his mother should be by now. The ship landed near the settlement, but inhabitants were surprised to see a spaceship flying over their heads. When Garrus and the other two turians escaped the ship, the turians around started to recognize Garrus as they knew him from his childhood. The inhabitants were surrounding Garrus, asking him various questions such as if he remembered them or how he has been all the time. Garrus didn't know who to answer first, it was getting rather uncomfortable but then somebody dissolved the crowd, "Hey! Give him some space!" exclaimed a turian woman who managed to calm the crowd down, "Garrus! You came!" it was Solana. Solana said and Garrus hugged her, "Sol! Does mom know?" Garrus asked, "No, but it will be surprise! Come!" Solana said and he and his friends followed Solana to the house where Garrus grew up. Solana opened the door to the house and Garrus, Dartus and Lantar entered, "Feel free to make yourself comfortable." She said and older voice came from other room, "Solana? Did you find out who was flying that ship?" it was a voice of woman, Garrus immediately recognized his mother, "Mom…?" he said quietly, "Yes! I'll be with you in a moment" Solana said and grabbed Garrus' talon, "Come on, Garrus!" she pulled Garrus to another room to his mother, "Well, we're alone now." Lantar smiled at Dartus.

Meanwhile, Solana and Garrus were standing behind door to room of their mother. Garrus stopped himself aggressively as Solana pulled him, "Garrus! Come on! What's wrong with you?" Solana asked, "I… I can't do it." He said, "What are you talking about?" she frowned at him, "I just can't! I don't think I'll handle seeing her. Maybe I'll make it even worse!" Garrus looked to the ground and Solana placed both hands on his shoulders, "Garrus. There's no going back now. She is affected with disease, but would it really hurt to let her see her son she loves? Don't you think it would make her pain more bearable?" she asked. Garrus was thinking and gave her nod. Solana smiled and opened the door to the room of their mother, "Mom?" Solana asked as the older turian woman looked from her data pad as she lied in her bed, "Solana, who was piloting that ship?" their mother asked and Solana stepped aside as Garrus entered the door, "I guess that was me." Garrus said, smiling. He spotted his mother lying in the bed. She didn't look that bad. Garrus thought she would look worse, but she looked quite well. Perhaps because when salarians wanted so many credits for surgery it would better be damn worth it, "Garrus…" she opened her mouth in shock, but in nice shock, "Is that you?" she asked and Garrus approached her, "Yeah. Solana told me how you were holding and I was thinking how bad you could look, but damn you look good, mom." Garrus smiled at her and sat next to her bed, "Oh, Solana. You always tend to be a drama queen." The mother shook her head and laughed slightly, "I had to, mom. Garrus wouldn't come otherwise!" Solana explained, taking seat next to Garrus. "Well, you don't need to be so worried about me, Garrus. Salarians may be expensive, but they are good in medicine. Also, I am not fragile. I served in military myself when I was young." She explained, coughing a little bit, "I came because there was an opportunity. I had a shore leave and also, I had support from my… friend." Garrus explained, meaning Lantar, "Oh, who is this friend of yours? I'd like to meet the man who pushed you to see your old mother." She said and Garrus laughed, "His name is Lantar Sidonis. We were working together for a while, but now we are independent on each other." Garrus said, "Garrus, keep connections with these people. You never know who'll be the last person listening to you." His mother said wisely, "What about your military life? I was reading galactic news. People are saying that you are hero, that you helped to defeat the greatest threat of organic life, the Reapers. Is that true?" the mother asked and Garrus nodded, "Then I'm proud mother to say that my son is hero. Solana told me you are also member of the Alliance, the humans' organization. I still think that hierarchy needs turians like you, Garrus, but with my age I realize that our future lies in cooperation with another species so I am happy for you. You'll do great things in your life, son." She smiled at him and Garrus smiled back. Their conversation continued with other topics. Garrus also explained how he loved Jane Shepard. His mother laughed because she was aware of incompatibility of their bodies. Turians were based on dextro-amino acids while humans were levo-amino acids so it wouldn't work there well. Garrus' mother also had the option to meet Lantar since he was there. She also met Dartus and was amused by the fact that Lantar and Dartus were together.

The last one to be done was Lantar. Garrus said good bye to his mother and Solana and the three turians headed for their next destination, "Alright, Lantar. Time for you to show us your family." Garrus said and Lantar got the unpleasant feeling of his neck tightening again, "You know, Garrus… put there an auto-pilot. I'll forward the coordinates to it." Lantar said. Garrus found that strange, but Lantar seemed to know what he was doing. The auto-pilot flew to the coordinates that Lantar put in the console. In the meantime, they all sat to the table. Garrus and Dartus were both thanking Lantar for organization of this trip. They seemed to be less tense. On the other side, Lantar was feeling shit inside, even he tried to smile. He was feeling even worse when the ship landed on the coordinates, "Alright! Let's go!" Garrus said and Lantar was the one taking lead. The airlock of the ship opened, revealing something that Garrus and Dartus didn't expect, leaving them frozen "But this is… cemetery…" Dartus said. Garrus looked at Lantar who was with his back to them, "You mind explaining, Lantar?" Garrus asked while Lantar gestured them both to follow him. The turians went in between graves, patrolled around with Lantar but followed Lantar because he was obviously the only one who knew how to orientate himself. Soon, they found a grave with two names on it, "Urika and Deterus Sidonis. It's been a long time." Lantar said quietly, "Lantar, why didn't you tell us that your parents are dead? We didn't need to go here if I knew." Garrus explained, "Well, I wanted to go here." Lantar said, Garrus didn't seem to understand, "Even it doesn't change anything, I didn't have time or credits to go back here and visit grave of my parents. Now… I could." Lantar explained but Garrus only frowned, "What Lantar wants to say is that from time to time, we all should see the grave to remember about our ancestors." Dartus said, looking at Lantar, "But you didn't need to lie about this, Lantar. We would understand that. You didn't have siblings either, their names would be on this grave." Dartus said and Lantar sighed, "Lying was unnecessary, I know. Sorry about that, guys… I am not used to sharing my personal things." He explained, "They died when I was 18. That was the time when Saren's Geth attacked Palaven. My parents got involved into that attack and they both died. I managed to hide so I survived, but they didn't. My father never forgave me that I refused to join hierarchy. Now I know that if I joined army, maybe their chances of survival would be bigger." Lantar rounded his fists. Garrus noticed that and placed talon on Lantar's shoulder, "Nobody could have survived that attack, Lantar. Your parents died, but you worked yourself to get on Omega and we met there, don't forget about that. Sometimes, things happen for a reason." Garrus explained. Lantar looked behind and saw Garrus giving him a little smile, "You're right. I am not glad that my parents died, but it definitely allowed me to become independent and get in touch with you, guys!" Lantar smiled. Dartus put his talon on Lantar's head, rubbing his plates, "Alright, kid. I think we could go home. What do you think, Garrus?" Dartus asked, "You don't even know how much I need my bed on Earth…" Garrus said and Lantar had to laugh. They left the cemetery, got in Garrus ship and returned to Illium. From there, Lantar and Dartus waved Garrus as he left towards Earth.


	13. The edge

Another week passed since Garrus split himself from Dartus and Lantar. Garrus' shore leave was over, and so it was over for his crewmembers. The group of turians and humans on his ship helped Garrus with wiping another evil on Omega. This time they needed to deal with Blue Suns occupying cargo bay which held massive amount of Red Sand and Hallex drugs. Terminus systems may have been corrupted and worked outside the law, but not when Garrus and his people were present. Aria T'Loak didn't care much for Garrus or the Alliance in general. As long as they weren't causing trouble like organizing revolt against her, she didn't care. Garrus and his people were very successful, no casualties and only few scratches in the result.

Garrus returned with his people to the ship and were returning to Earth to send report to the Alliance headquarters. Gangs on Omega were starting to think if it had any sense doing crime when there was Garrus aka Archangel still sniffing around. Garrus was piloting his ship when he suddenly received an incoming transmission from Lantar's omni-tool, " _Hmm, Lantar?_ " He thought, putting the transmission on his hologram, "Oh? Sergeant?" Garrus asked as he spotted asari sergeant of local law reinforcement on Illium, "Garrus Vakarian. I'm sorry if I interrupt some important action, but consider this as a distress call." She said and Garrus frowned, "I don't understand. Sergeant, why did it say that it was coming from Lantar Sidonis?" Garrus asked. The police called from Lantar's omni-tool. That couldn't mean anything good, "It is omni-tool of this turian. Garrus, Lantar hasn't reported his absence for 24 hours." The sergeant said and Garrus' eyes widened, "What? What does it mean?" he asked, "We take presence of our officers in serious matter. If officer doesn't report himself for absence such as illness for more than 24 hours, we are forced to come to his living place. We arrived. He was nowhere to be found, only his omni-tool was here. That's why we called you. You were in his omni-tool and so we were thinking if you wouldn't have some clue where he could be." Sergeant explained, "This isn't something Lantar would do just because he would want to. He runs away when he senses big problem, but this isn't him! What about Dartus Raidat? Doesn't he know?" Garrus asked, "That is the point. Dartus Raidat died four days ago during mission of thwarting an assassination." Sergeant said and Garrus realized what was the actual problem. Dartus was dead. Lantar could fall into tremendous anxieties. As Garrus knew Lantar for a long time, he knew that he was still young and impulsive and could act unadvisedly. If what Sergeant said was true and Lantar was nowhere to be found, Garrus knew that Lantar was in danger, "Sergeant! Try to search for Lantar everywhere you can, but please, do not capture him!" Garrus warned her, "What do you mean, Garrus? What can he do?" she asked, "I need to talk to Lantar myself. Just tell me where he is so I can negotiate with him. He won't listen to anyone else so please, do as I say." Garrus said. Sergeant nodded and the hologram closed, " _Shit, Lantar! What have you got yourself into? Just tell me you're not gonna go to the edge!_ " Garrus thought and decided to go tell his people about Illium. Garrus got on the crew deck, all of his people watched him, "Uh, what's going on, Garrus?" one of the turians asked, "Changing plans. We're going to Illium. There's something I need to do and it can't be delayed!" Garrus explained, returning to the cockpit. Garrus didn't talk to anybody, he needed to think if Lantar would be that stupid to actually put himself in danger, in the worst case killing himself. He wished to believe that his cowardice would stop him, but thinking that he left his omni-tool at home didn't seem like there was some way to reason with him.

Garrus arrived at Illium three hours later. He set his crew to a shore leave until the time he arrived. He contacted the sergeant again, "Sergeant! What's the status?" Garrus asked, running through Nos-astra port, "It seems our special operatives found Lantar sitting on the roof of Illium trade center." She said with calm tone, "I'm on it! Does he have a gun?" he asked, "No. It seems he is unarmed, only sitting and waiting as if something is about to happen." Sergeant said and Garrus hurried to an elevator of the trade center. Garrus headed to the top floor and then to the maintenance chambers from where he was going to access the rooftop. There was no time for thinking. Garrus had to reach Lantar before it was too late. He was finally at the door leading to the rooftop. The door broke open and Garrus stood on the rooftop.

Lantar was sitting further but noticed the door opening. He looked a little bit behind himself, "Garrus?" He asked and Garrus approached him, "What are you doing here?" Lantar asked and Garrus pointed his finger at him, "What do you think?! Your superior contacted me because you just disappeared and left your omni-tool back in your home! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Garrus tackled him and Lantar looked away from Garrus, "That's none of your business. It's nobody's business…" Lantar argued. Suddenly he felt himself being lifted from the ground and Garrus held him against his face, feeling his talons clenching deeply in Lantar's clothing, "I travelled light years because I knew something bad was going to happen to you! I'm not losing the last member of my group from Omega! You're my friend so you better fucking explain what's bugging in your head or I'll make sure you go behind bars so I know about you 24/7!" Garrus hissed, talking directly at Lantar's face. Lantar smiled at him, "Don't you think this is a little mainstream, Garrus?" he said, grabbing Garrus' talons and Garrus let him go. Lantar sat down on the ground again, "You want to know what's up? Then rest your ass next to me and I'll tell you." He said and Garrus obediently sat next to him. Lantar started his narration.

FLASHBACK

The other day Garrus left Illium, Dartus and Lantar got in their role of officers with full dedication and were given an assignment. They had to stop Eclipse mercs from assassinating wealthy businessmen on Illium. They had one particular place located within hotel towers in residential district. Lantar and Dartus were alone for this assignment, not knowing what they'll expect. However, they were progressing well. Eclipse were falling and Lantar with Dartus were moving forward. They came across large area of wide corridor, "Alright, kid. Open areas are always trouble… be careful." Dartus said and Lantar gave him reassuring nod. They entered the room, walked through but then Eclipse mercs and LOKI mechs appeared from around the corners, "HIDE!" Lantar shouted and with Dartus took cover behind some furniture as the mercs were shooting them. The bullets were whizzing millimeters above their heads and they didn't have much space to show themselves up. They kept using every opportunity given to peek out of their cover to shoot the mercs and the mechs. They were fighting nearly ten minutes in one take. Finally, Lantar killed last standing mech. Its head blew up and the body fell down, "Ha! That was the last one! We should move and finish this Da- Dartus?!" Lantar looked to the other side, seeing Dartus leaning against his cover, a dark blue puddle was spreading under his body.

Dartus was bleeding heavily and it was from his heart. Lantar recognized that because Dartus was holding the place where the blood was leaking from. Trails of blood were running down Dartus' armor and Lantar froze in horror. He quickly scuttled down to Dartus, kneeling in his blood and reaching his talon to Dartus' face, "Dartus, no!" he said and used medigel to help him. The weakly breathing turian looked at Lantar's green eyes with his own red ones, "K-Kid… right in the feelings." Dartus made a joke in the worst situation, "How can you just make fun of this?! We must find help! Come!" Lantar tried to pull Dartus but only managed to lay him down on the ground. Dartus moaned of pain, "Ah…! Sorry kid, but I'm not gonna make it. I already feel my legs cold… you need to finish this without me." Dartus said and released his grip on heart, "Dartus! I'm not leaving you behind! You can't… can't just leave me!" Lantar said raising Dartus' face towards his, connecting their foreheads. Dartus smiled, "No, don't cry for me, kid. It'll be ok, you'll see." Dartus said huskily, smiling up at Lantar. However, Lantar couldn't do what Dartus wanted from him. Knowledge of Dartus dying was too strong for Lantar to bear and he cried immensely. Dartus felt the tears falling on his face and used his remaining forces to raise one arm, placing it on Lantar's cheek. Lantar put his own talon on the same place where Dartus placed his own, holding it, "I don't want to see you cry, Lantar. Please… smile for me." Dartus smiled weakly and Lantar did his best to smile, "What I'm gonna do without you… Dartus, you are everything that helped me to find myself. I am already lost now… Dartus?" Lantar said but no response came, "Dartus…?" he asked once more, but it was useless. Dartus already died and Lantar didn't know what to do. He bent himself over to rest Dartus' on the ground, but before that he kissed Dartus once more. His faceplates were already cold and no breathing was coming from him when Lantar kissed him. Lantar left to finish the assignment when Dartus was left in puddle of his own blood.

END OF THE FLASHBACK

Lantar held his knees, eyes closed. Each time he remembered about that, it was hard for him to push tears back, "He was a guide to me. We loved each other, Dartus was somebody who could put me on the right track in my life." He sighed, "I tried to continue doing my job here, but I was starting to feel more and more as stranger. I was feeling like shit again. Already 12 dead people on my account and everything appears to be against me. I can't love or have friends or family because they die! You should not be here, Garrus or else even you'll get killed!" Lantar said, increasing his voice, "I don't want to live anymore! I tried so much to save my sorry ass all the time and when I find somebody who really loves me, he must die!" he continued and Garrus wanted to pull Lantar closer for comfort. Lantar just flinched himself away, "Get away from me! You'll be dead if you put your trust in me, you know that!" Lantar said, hyperventilating his sorrow. Garrus raised his hands in front of himself, getting himself on knees, "Lantar, listen! No matter what things you did, it's all behind us. Don't be an idiot! Don't throw your life away! It's not true that you lost everything! I am still here." Garrus said in calm tone, "But you have your own things to care about! Except for that, I don't want to hope you could love me. We both know it won't happen! You're my friend, but that hurts me even more because it gives me that hope." Lantar explained and Garrus was getting desperate because he was running out of arguments, "How do you even want to kill yourself? You don't have anything…" he said, "I… paid assassin to kill me. He's probably already at his position, getting ready…" Lantar said and Garrus wished to help Lantar, "Lantar, Dartus wasn't the only person you could love. Remember what you told me about Jane? Now think for Dartus. What would he want? He surely wants you to be happy! Lantar, be reasonable! It's not too late yet." Garrus explained, Lantar seemed to think, "You need somebody in your life, Lantar. You are lonely since your parents died and since then you had to be on your own, without anybody and only hope of me returning your affection. You lack presence of someone who can cheer you up, who can hold your hand, who can sleep with you." He continued. Lantar seemed to be listen. His interest in Garrus' words. He nodded and Garrus continued, "If you agree, you can take my hand and we will both leave Illium. You can join the Alliance. They will surely approve if I ask them to put you under my command. Our relationship is not possible, we know it. However, there are some turians in my crew who also miss someone and I bet you would choose from them. They pretend to be straight but I know that they're not." Garrus had smile in his voice. Lantar smiled back. The idea of being by Garrus' side and having somebody from his crew he could love was nice for him. He knew it was risky because it would mean another of his lovers would die, but it gave him another hope. Lantar reached for Garrus' hand and with his help, he got on feet, "You sound like you trained this speech for hours, but I know you can keep your promises and it would be honor to be under your command again." Lantar said and Garrus smiled, "Welcome aboard, private!" Garrus said, placing arm around Lantar's back.

Garrus made it. He managed to change Lantar's attitude and it filled him with happiness. They were walking towards the door when suddenly, a projectile flew through Lantar's chest and the turian coughed out blood. Lantar knelt down, "Lantar!" Garrus shouted, holding the wound on the back side while Lantar held his chest, "Shit… that assassin!" Lantar said. Garrus immediately gave him some medigel and called Sergeant, "Sergeant! I've got critic situation! Send paramedics for immediate transport to hospital! It's clear shot through heart! Quickly!" Garrus said, watching as Lantar knelt and propped himself with one talon. The deep blue liquid dripped and Garrus hoped for miracle.

The aerial transport appeared at Garrus' sight as it was hovering in front of him with Lantar. Salarian paramedics carefully set Lantar on board and with Garrus they flew in the hospital. Lantar's state was critical. Garrus was actually praying for his survival. Salarian paramedics did their best to keep blood circulation and pumped in new blood continuously. After arrival at the hospital, Lantar was put in the Intensive Care Unit where doctors performed surgery that was going to heal arteries which may have been torn apart during the assassination. Garrus had to wait, he was hoping they weren't too late.

Doctors came to him four hours later. Lantar survived and Garrus was happy to know that. It was strange for Garrus to know that this person he wanted to kill was actually now one of his friends. Lantar was also happy, not now because he was unconscious due to the anesthetics, but sure he was going to be happy thanks to Garrus and his offer to be part of his crew. Lantar's assassin disappeared. Nobody really knew who it was or where he went, but neither Garrus nor Lantar cared about it. It was better that he was gone.

Lantar was set free from hospital few days later. Garrus decided to send report with explanation that they were going to be spending few days on Illium and also he sent request for recruiting Lantar in the Alliance. Garrus' mother was right at one thing. Her son was doing great things. Lantar was accepted on Garrus' behalf and the crew welcomed him on board of Garrus' ship. Some people were more sympathetic, some less. However, Garrus didn't lie when he said some of the turians were gay.

Lantar found friends between the crew and as the time progressed, he found between them the turian who was going to be Lantar's partner, outside the mission of course.

THE END


End file.
